Bare Knuckle Pickups Forum
At The Back => Time Out => Topic started by: mikeluke on November 19, 2009, 09:20:26 AM
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Last night we had an audtion for a new drummer for our band - two candidates - one guy just didn't turn up, not even a text or email to apologise. The other pulled out at the last minute (not sure if he is Catholic, so let's not go there....) but I just had to share his excuse - too good not to
"Mike,
If someone gives you a better reason why they can't do something...I'd love to hear it. Here goes:
Last night my (lovely, placid and docile) dog was (once again) being wound up and attacked by my wife's (horrible, spiteful and aggressive) cat using what we in the military call a scoot-and-shoot technique.
My dog (a weimaraner) decided that the conciliatory approach was not working and opened up with what I would call an artillery "grid square clearance" operation...thus neutralising the threat. Diplomatic intervention (tentative collar grabbing and a lot of ineffective "leave it" shouting) by my wife and I was too late and not enough to prevent the all-out canine retaliatory offensive.
In short, and in civilian parlance, what happened was the my dog spectacularly wasted my wife's cat in the middle of the living-room last night (most irritatingly, it was during a particularly good episode of Spooks).
Needless to say that, as this spiteful wretch of an ex-cat was my wife's pride and joy (and her sole and isolated instance of poor judgement), the scenario that unfolded itself has not gone down terrible well Chez Nous.
The cat's demise is something that I would have seen as an generally good thing (although I doubt the cat would have shared my opinion) but has precipitated some dog retention issues for me.
Consequently, I have rather a lot to sort out (dog stay/dog go type stuff) with the more than marginally angry Mrs C this evening and, as such, I'm not so sure that I'll be allowed out to play.
I do apologise, for messing you around. If the second drummer you have planned for this evening is useless (or doesn't turn-up and does not have a suitably impressive story about how he is not allowed out tonight as his pet crocodile went on a snapping rampage through Woking town centre this afternoon), please give me a shout as I'd still be very interested.
Whatever you decide...good luck with your project."
You have to give him marks for originality - even though it meant that we spent a wasted 3 hours at the rehearsal studios....
Mike
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That's a better effort than "my dog ate my drumsticks".
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I am impressed with his prose. My drummer can barely express anything but the most rudimentary of concepts in monosyllables.
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He must be a Jazz drummer :?
A non-Jazz drummer would have said 'me dog ate me wifes cat and she's moaning so I can't come'......
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That's class. Are you sure he's a drummer? Seems too inventive. :)
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What if the story actually is true...
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I agree about the impressive prose. And the story's funny (as told), but if it's true he's got a disturbingly relaxed attitude to a cat being torn to pieces in his living room. Could be a bit of a psycho (he is a drummer, I suppose).
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:o
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I'd hire him.
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[snip] the scenario that unfolded itself has not gone down terrible well Chez Nous [/snip]
Come on, a drummer that speaks French! What's the chance of that* :P
* Ignoring drummer who are French
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Ah - the French bit was partially me - I removed his actual family name just in case anyone knows him!
(He lives in Portsmouth...)
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i wouldn't expect that behavior from a weimaraner. I've always thought them to be very intelligent fairly laid back.
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"It should never be forgotten that the Weimaraner is a hunting dog and therefore has a strong, instinctive prey drive. Weimaraners will sometimes tolerate cats, as long as they are introduced to the cats as puppies, but many will chase and frequently kill almost any small animal that enters their garden or backyard. In rural areas, most Weimaraners will not hesitate to chase deer or sheep."
I fancy getting it round to sort out the neighbour's cat that pi$$es all over my drive!
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:lol:
I reckon you should audition the dog...
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drummers always a pain to find keep and not kill
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i wouldn't expect that behavior from a weimaraner. I've always thought them to be very intelligent fairly laid back.
Don't forget that the cat was horrible, spiteful and aggressive
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i wouldn't expect that behavior from a weimaraner. I've always thought them to be very intelligent fairly laid back.
Don't forget that the cat was horrible, spiteful and aggressive
But Emily loved him.
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i wouldn't expect that behavior from a weimaraner. I've always thought them to be very intelligent fairly laid back.
Don't forget that the cat was horrible, spiteful and aggressive
yeah. if i was a dog i wouldnt take sh*t from no b*tch ass cat!
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Employ his wife as your manager.
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Man, this is really funny!
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i wouldn't expect that behavior from a weimaraner. I've always thought them to be very intelligent fairly laid back.
Don't forget that the cat was horrible, spiteful and aggressive
But Emily loved him.
Class :lol:
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:lol:
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Actually I was wondering if his wife could play bass.....
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Good one Phily! :D
Drummers do say weird things. The drummer in the band I'm in said after a quick run through of Steve Miller's 'The Joker' we should release that as a single. Me "We haven't got a record contract and if we did it would be a breach of copyright" Drummer "Yeah I know but if we change the music and the lyrics to our music and lyrics then thats would be ok" Me "Then it would be something totally different wouldn't it" :roll: