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At The Back => The Dressing Room => Topic started by: 38thBeatle on December 04, 2006, 07:38:58 AM

Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 04, 2006, 07:38:58 AM
OK guys, the holiday season approaches and I was idly thinking of what might be an amusing thread. What is your idea of musical hell.Political correctness notwithstanding: Mine would be a job as a sound engineer on a joint Whitney Houston/Mariah Carey album of slow"soulfoul" ballads-the working title would be "wailfest".
(NB, if any of you are rude about the Beatles I shall tell my Mum.)
Title: Re: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 04, 2006, 08:45:21 AM
Quote from: 38thBeatle
Political correctness notwithstanding: Mine would be a job as a sound engineer on a joint Whitney Houston/Mariah Carey album of slow"soulfoul" ballads-the working title would be "wailfest".


So many notes so little time in the case of those pair <shudders>,

My own personal musical hell is every shop I have the misfortune to go into playing "The best ever Christmas album" (or whatever it's called this year), couples with that breed of busker that only appears during the late night christmas period, who insist on murdering the Beatles and the  Simon & Garfunkle song book.

Bah Humbug !

Though this christmas will have the musical highlight of gaining some more Pretty Things re-releases on CD

Hurrah !

Rob...

On a non musical vein being forced to visit my sister in law and putting up with her drunkenly singing so called patriot songs, & crying about dead people
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Ratrod on December 04, 2006, 10:51:02 AM
Musical hell? Well, let's say this: Whenever you turn on a radio or a TV you'll get nothing but rap, RNB and dance music and the occaisional boy band or that type of music that is sung in my native language. When you go out to a bar or club you'll hear that same stuff all over again.

OMG I'm in hell!  :evil:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 04, 2006, 11:15:06 AM
Quote from: Ratrod
Musical hell? Well, let's say this: Whenever you turn on a radio or a TV you'll get nothing but rap, RNB and dance music and the occaisional boy band or that type of music that is sung in my native language. When you go out to a bar or club you'll hear that same stuff all over again.

OMG I'm in hell!  :evil:


Heres something to save you from the musical hell that is the regular media http://www.kosmikradiation.com/

Rob...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Afghan Dave on December 04, 2006, 12:38:27 PM
Musical Hell = JAMES BLUNT and COLDPLAY   :shock:  :shock:  :evil:  :evil:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: ToneMonkey on December 04, 2006, 01:07:19 PM
When I used to work behind a bar and Rin DMC Vs Jeson Nevins was out at the same time as the theme tune to Titanic.  They would have requests and play both about 5 times a night each.  :cry:

Or nowadays, anything with me singing.
Title: Re: Musical Hell
Post by: dave_mc on December 04, 2006, 04:04:40 PM
Quote from: Kilby
My own personal musical hell is every shop I have the misfortune to go into playing "The best ever Christmas album" (or whatever it's called this year)

Bah Humbug !

Rob...


I'd be inclined to second that, Rob. There's plenty of cr@p music around, but cr@p Christmas music takes the biscuit. Apparently it works and cons people into thinking they'd better hurry up with their Christmas shopping (even if it's still August), but I'm contrary and would refuse to buy in that shop on principle so it's actually losing them sales.

:drink:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Davey on December 04, 2006, 04:40:06 PM
anything played on commercial radio
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: chrisola on December 04, 2006, 04:54:28 PM
at least you could prev on Mariah Carey!

id hate to be stuck in an elevator playing 'Great Xmas hits of the past CD 2'

now THAT would be full of sonic shitee.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Afghan Dave on December 04, 2006, 05:55:37 PM
Quote from: chrisola
at least you could prev on Mariah Carey!


Goddam sicko... what the hell does "prev" mean?

Guys like you make me ashamed of my gender. :roll:  :wink:  :roll:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Davey on December 04, 2006, 06:03:57 PM
man, i'd hit her over the head w/ an sm57, then hit it HARD!!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: stuckin93 on December 04, 2006, 06:08:40 PM
My Dad & his brother whenever they get together (& really pissed) sing their own "special" version of I can't quit you babe by Zeppelin. That is musical hell!! I have made excuses this year to be somewhere else  :lol:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Fubar on December 04, 2006, 06:41:26 PM
Anywhere there's a karaoke night on.

 :shock:  :x  :evil:  :cry:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: PhilKing on December 04, 2006, 07:00:14 PM
Anytime I rent a car in England and don't have any CD's and have to take the M1 north.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: stuckin93 on December 04, 2006, 07:35:57 PM
i have my car sterio tuned to interferance so i dont get subjected to that between swapping CD's  :P
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 04, 2006, 07:41:35 PM
he he -keep 'em coming guys.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: _tom_ on December 04, 2006, 07:46:11 PM
I have to have something on the stereo when driving, I just hate it being all quiet. So I was subjected to Radio 1, 2 and Connect FM from the end of August up to last week when I finally got a cd player for the car :lol:

Another thing thats becoming musical hell is band practises, I'm sick of the same covers (I dont even like the majority of the songs we cover) and we cant find a singer so I think its time to quit soon..
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Johnny Mac on December 04, 2006, 08:49:33 PM
Quote from: Afghan Dave
Quote from: chrisola
at least you could prev on Mariah Carey!


Goddam sicko... what the hell does "prev" mean?

Guys like you make me ashamed of my gender. :roll:  :wink:  :roll:


You'd love to bend her over Dave you dirty bleeder!  :lol:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Fubar on December 04, 2006, 08:57:03 PM
Quote from: _tom_
I have to have something on the stereo when driving, I just hate it being all quiet. So I was subjected to Radio 1, 2 and Connect FM from the end of August up to last week when I finally got a cd player for the car :lol:



*Shudders*
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: _tom_ on December 04, 2006, 09:00:20 PM
Yeah... oh, I forgot .. Northants 96 :lol: Terrible stuff. Although I have to say I do sometimes enjoy listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1, he can be quite funny but most of the time is a bit of a tit really.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Fubar on December 04, 2006, 09:05:57 PM
Quote from: _tom_
Yeah... oh, I forgot .. Northants 96 :lol:



*Curl's up in a ball and sits in corner quaking and staring into space*
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: jt on December 04, 2006, 09:17:36 PM
:D My version of musical hell is........

A has been producer doing an appalling remix of songs from a band he recorded 30 odd years ago for no other reason than its time for Xmass & he needs to cash in on his & there name...........Oh hang on thats !!!......

 :D  8)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Philly Q on December 04, 2006, 10:06:06 PM
Musical Hell:

"Mr Lover Man" by Shabba Ranks.  :evil:

And I'm not saying anything about the Beatles, but....

Paul McCartney's solo career.  What a load of sugary bilge it is.  PDT_047
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 04, 2006, 10:29:38 PM
I am calling my mum now JT.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: jt on December 04, 2006, 10:43:01 PM
:D

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 :D  8)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Dakine on December 04, 2006, 10:51:33 PM
Anything MANUFACTURED by a 'suit' to rape money from the uneducated.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: froglord on December 04, 2006, 10:55:53 PM
Greensleeves played on the pan pipes.

Anything at all played on the harpsicord. Not for nothing did Sir Thomas Beecham describe the instrument as sounding "like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof".
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 05, 2006, 07:31:14 AM
oh no, pan pipes. I was given a cd of pan pipes playing "popular" songs once for Christmas.What on earth made anyone think I would like that, oh well I suppose it is the thought.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 05, 2006, 08:18:37 AM
Quote from: chrisola
at least you could prev on Mariah Carey!


You could perv on Whitney Houston but then you would be a real freak (and a sick one at that).

Rob...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Ratrod on December 05, 2006, 01:15:18 PM
How about 50cent doing a christmas song with Mariah Carey with Take That on background vocals.

Somebody hand me a bucket, I think I'm gonna hurl.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 05, 2006, 01:39:53 PM
Quote from: Ratrod
How about 50cent doing a christmas song with Mariah Carey with Take That on background vocals.

Somebody hand me a bucket, I think I'm gonna hurl.


I would suggest any of those 'artists' seperately nevermind combined at christmas.

I hope it's the bucket you ae gonna hurl, at them

May I suggest 95% of Oasis material should go onto the hell list.

Oasis = a group of builders helpers copying the Beatles (& Mott the Hoople), badly !

Rob...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: chrisola on December 05, 2006, 11:58:37 PM
Quote
Goddam sicko... what the hell does "prev" mean?


i meant perv!

as in OOGLE

take candid photos and sell them to Heat magazine ;)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Afghan Dave on December 06, 2006, 12:05:31 AM
Quote from: chrisola
Quote
Goddam sicko... what the hell does "prev" mean?


i meant perv!

as in OOGLE

take candid photos and sell them to Heat magazine ;)


Ohh "Perv".... That's OK then...

I did look up what "prev" means and you need to find a length of nylon cord and and a salted herring. (You could use tin a tin of tuna but that's cheap). :P
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Muzzzz on December 06, 2006, 10:42:39 AM
Possibly the most depressing thread on the internet. Sit me down, it's all too much.

But more to the point - musical hell is walking into a music shop and hearing some kid play:
-Smoke on the Water
-Stairway to Heaven
-Sweet Child of Mine
-Anything by  :x:x:x -> Blink 182 <- :x:x:x

For over FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: gingataff on December 06, 2006, 12:12:18 PM
Quote from: Davey
man, i'd hit her over the head w/ an sm57, then hit it HARD!!

I'd buy her a drink, a large one. I find it has the same effect, if you know what I mean. :wink:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 06, 2006, 01:02:23 PM
Quote from: Muzzzz
Possibly the most depressing thread on the internet. Sit me down, it's all too much.

But more to the point - musical hell is walking into a music shop and hearing some kid play:
-Smoke on the Water
-Stairway to Heaven
-Sweet Child of Mine
-Anything by  :x:x:x -> Blink 182 <- :x:x:x

For over FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!


Add the Zephyr Song to that list
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: gingataff on December 06, 2006, 01:59:24 PM
Why hasn't anyone mentioned Slade yet? Its that time of year after all :twisted:  :twisted:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: FELINEGUITARS on December 06, 2006, 02:10:52 PM
Nobody plays smoke on the water or stairway anymore

You cant do the No Stairway....Denied routine  these days

I have a rule that you cant leave my place UNTIL you play it

Or maybe this song for Xmas

On my heavy metal Christmas my true love gave to me,
12 Silver crosses
11 Black mascaras
10 Pairs of platforms
9 Tattered t-shirts
8 Pentagrams
7 Leather jackets
6 Cans of hairspray
5 Skull earrings
4 Quarts of Jack
3 Studded belts
2 Pairs of spandex pants
And a tattoo of Ozzy!


(http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/B000ICLTKK.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V40269514_.jpg)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: bucketshred on December 06, 2006, 02:11:03 PM
Tbh, I work for an insurance company and the music some of the providers play to us down the phone - yuk

Andy!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Muttley on December 06, 2006, 05:10:46 PM
Quote from: Johnny Mac
Quote from: Afghan Dave
Quote from: chrisola
at least you could prev on Mariah Carey!


Goddam sicko... what the hell does "prev" mean?

Guys like you make me ashamed of my gender. :roll:  :wink:  :roll:


You'd love to bend her over Dave you dirty bleeder!  :lol:


Just make sure you've got the ball gag handy.  ;)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: chrisola on December 07, 2006, 12:19:41 AM
speaking of hold music...i was on hold to some mortgage place (i work in finance) and they had One Vision by queen as the hold music... the damn fools answered the phone just as Mr May was getting warmed up :(

bar-stewards!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: mikeluke on December 07, 2006, 11:27:33 AM
In no particular order...

Having to play another gig at the Duke's Head, Leatherhead.. (We are not by the way - any time we are asked we'll be 'busy')

Both sort of American music - Country and Western  :lol:

Cliff Richard - about time he was wheeled out again for Xmas...


Agree with the thread regarding Mariah 'Why Sing One Note When You Can Sing Sixteen?' Carey - great until she opens her mouth...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Ratrod on December 07, 2006, 01:32:43 PM
Quote from: mikeluke


Agree with the thread regarding Mariah 'Why Sing One Note When You Can Sing Sixteen?' Carey - great until she opens her mouth...


That mouth can be used for other purposes.  :twisted:
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: blue on December 07, 2006, 01:43:45 PM
Quote from: Ratrod
Quote from: mikeluke


Agree with the thread regarding Mariah 'Why Sing One Note When You Can Sing Sixteen?' Carey - great until she opens her mouth...


That mouth can be used for other purposes.  :twisted:



yep, drinking poison!

(yes, i know what your filthy little mmind had thought of, but do you really want her singing you to sleep after?)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 07, 2006, 01:50:49 PM
Quote from: blue

(yes, i know what your filthy little mmind had thought of, but do you really want her singing you to sleep after?)


More like sing you to death <shudders>

Imagine her screaming in ecstacy during a night of passion, it would put you off sex for the rest of your life.

Rob...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Canadian Steve on December 07, 2006, 02:44:17 PM
'Walking in Memphis' - either version - just makes me feel sick to the stomach.  ARRGGGHHH!!!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOTqNexJ5_s

 :(

The only way it could get any worse would be to have David Gray do a cover of it.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 07, 2006, 04:42:23 PM
Quote from: Canadian Steve
'Walking in Memphis' - either version - just makes me feel sick to the stomach.  ARRGGGHHH!!!  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOTqNexJ5_s

 :(

The only way it could get any worse would be to have David Gray do a cover of it.


Or Robbie Williams, James Blunt, Celine Dion (infact just about anybody else come to think of it)

I'm just glad that Cher hasn't done a version, though she did once do a song called 'Walking in Mumphus" which was dire
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 07, 2006, 06:38:00 PM
I was wondering if anyone would mention dear Celine.She is just so funny to watch thoug-best to turn the volume down when she is on otherwise it can get pretty nasty.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: FELINEGUITARS on December 08, 2006, 01:33:36 AM
Quote from: 38thBeatle
I was wondering if anyone would mention dear Celine.She is just so funny to watch thoug-best to turn the volume down when she is on otherwise it can get pretty nasty.


You mean like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSOfnmkYqvE

I'm sorry about this - not for the faint hearted

Not even a Meredith Brookes Guitar solo saves it

How does Celine do a "Duckwalk " a la Chuck Berry in heels??
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: FELINEGUITARS on December 08, 2006, 01:43:06 AM
Sorry I feel so bad about that last post :cry:

Quick - watch this as an antidote :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALxfnKaVji0

You'll feel better in no time.....

And theres more if you liked that:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSD40nqnpH4
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 08, 2006, 08:07:59 AM
Jonathan how could you-there were cries of "make it stop" in this house. You did indeed redeem yourself so I have forgiven you. (Please, no links to the Nolans on Youtube please)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Philly Q on December 08, 2006, 09:29:59 AM
Quote from: FELINEGUITARS
You mean like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSOfnmkYqvE

I'm sorry about this - not for the faint hearted

I have to be honest, Celine apart I kind of enjoyed that...  :oops:

I still think Anastacia's abdomen is (was?) a wondrous thing to behold.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: JamesHealey on December 08, 2006, 10:00:33 AM
Steve Vai and Mattias Eklundh stopping playing guitar and moving over to Rap...
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: jt on December 08, 2006, 01:50:19 PM
:D That was truly F***ing dreadful !!

I need to have a lie down now !!

You no your career`s over when an awards ceremony do`s a really tame easy listening version of one of your songs !!!

Christ they even had a percussionist !! Sorry Johnathon but the solo was cr@p to !!

But i have to admit Anastacia is a Babe.

Your right Queensryche has redeemed you !!! But dont ever do that again !!

 :D  8)
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: FELINEGUITARS on December 08, 2006, 02:05:38 PM
Snigger !!!! :lol:  :twisted:

I just love Operation Mindcrime all these years on
The live version is simply wonderful

I do like Anastacia (have albums to prove it)
She is still in good shape and doing well after the surgery for breast cancer.
The boob reduction has changed the way she looks though - was a splendidly busty girl before.........

Celine just always seems awkward and gawky to me
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Ratrod on December 09, 2006, 01:07:03 PM
Quote from: FELINEGUITARS


Celine just always seems awkward and gawky to me


She's scarier than Marilyn Manson and Micheal Jackson together.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: gingataff on December 09, 2006, 03:56:40 PM
Quote from: Ratrod


She's scarier than Marilyn Manson and Micheal Jackson together.

But have you ever actually seen them together???

Makes you wonder doesn't it!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 09, 2006, 05:46:13 PM
You beat me to the punch Gingataff, by a couple of hours by the looks of things.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Kilby on December 09, 2006, 06:08:42 PM
Well nobody has ever seen Michael and Latoya Jackson together either.

Between them theyre bad enough news for any family.

Depressing musical search on Youtube.

Searching for The Pretty Things, insists on returning those self abusers, Dirty Pretty Things (and I can't find a way of excluding the word dirty from the returned matches).

It's so depressing to know they exist in the same universe as me, without having their repulsive images appearing on screen.

Rob...

PS if you don't know The Pretty Things, they where better than the Stones in the mid 60s, wrote the first rock opera (SF Sorrow), and where a great heavy rock band in the 70s.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: Ratrod on December 09, 2006, 06:46:45 PM
Quote from: gingataff
Quote from: Ratrod


She's scarier than Marilyn Manson and Micheal Jackson together.

But have you ever actually seen them together???

Makes you wonder doesn't it!


 Expect that duo to come up in an episode of South Park or Where My Dogs At.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: cjpmmd on December 19, 2006, 06:22:37 AM
Dolly Parton's version of "Stairway to Heaven" on some live concert special I saw part of last fall.  Despite already-heavy sedation, I bent on the emergency tequila by the end of verse 2 when I saw that she wasn't playing the song for laughs (which might have been tolerable).  Alas, I could not make darkness overtake me before the end of the song, and thus witnessed the most non-Robert-Plantable vocal climax to the song I've ever been subjected to.  Plus, I couldn't find the damned remote.

cjpm
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: 38thBeatle on December 19, 2006, 07:41:17 AM
Yesterday a couple of work colleagues were discussing the winner of pop idol or X factor or whatever it is called comparing her to  Mariah C and Whitney. I heard them say she has a great voice just llike the aforesaid "singers". Just what we need....I don't think.
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: JJretroTONEGOD on December 30, 2006, 02:20:48 PM
My own idea of musical hell, would be to sit through a Spice Girls concert, or S Club 7 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo!!!

or if DJ's took over the world, I'd shoot myself, I HATE the way DJ's think they are so god damn important!

Without the musciains there would be no music for DJ's to play, and half the time they talk over the music and dont even tell you what the bloody song was!

who do they think they are? they're taking the piss out of all musicans! I want my pamra money and I want it now.

thats my idea of hell, and it's happening all around me all the time, hell is real!
Title: Musical Hell
Post by: JJretroTONEGOD on December 30, 2006, 02:23:55 PM
Quote from: 38thBeatle
Yesterday a couple of work colleagues were discussing the winner of pop idol or X factor or whatever it is called comparing her to  Mariah C and Whitney. I heard them say she has a great voice just llike the aforesaid "singers". Just what we need....I don't think.


X factor should be illegal :twisted: