Bare Knuckle Pickups Forum
At The Back => The Dressing Room => Topic started by: blue on March 11, 2007, 04:32:31 AM
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like i say, this girl i've been getting on well with suddenly springs on me, "i have a boyfriend". should i care? of course if she'll cheat on him??? and i have well and truly been there...
my question is, do you think i should pursue a girl i have an amazing connection with despite her having a boyfriend? should i decide that i'm more important? should i feel sorry for some phuqwit i've never met?
historically, my fiancee shagged my friend, so i'm kinda evilly biased, but does anyone have a sensible view on the whole thing? i hate the idea of hurting someone, aaaaaagh, my brain is starting to hurt!!!!
okay, telecaster or SG??
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s'easy- Telecaster.......
Hmmm, like you I have been on receiving end but in my case it was a wife of 9.5 years with whom I'd had 2 young kids.It takes a while to come to terms with that so I can understand your moral dilemma. I guess you owe the other guy no loyalty but having consideration for him is admirable. She should decide what she wants-does she want a bit on the side (in which case I would avoid for the reasons you have alluded to) or is her relationship not as strong as "I have a boyfriend" suggests and it is little more than a habitual relationship. In the end I think it is better to establish what exactly is the relationship she has and decide then whether you are breaking up a beautiful thing or whether you are the catalyst for what was going to happen inevitably.I suspect none of this is what you don't already know but sometimes you just need someone else to say it.
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i'm pretty much in the same boat right now.
what i suggest is make her decide and break up before you start anything, cos if she cheats on him, there is a possibility that she will cheat on you too.
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Absolutly, If she is prepared to break up with her boyfriend to be with you, then go for it. But if she has any second thoughts or says that she can't leave him for what ever reason, don't bother what so ever. There's plenty of other girls out there and you're bound to have that connection with at least one of them.
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Hmmm, it's a damn hard decision.
I mean, one option is very rock and roll, and although kinda harsh could be rather smooth for you, if you know what I mean.
The other option is a more mellow choice with more feeling, and possibly more sense.
But it's your choice mate, personally I'd go for the SG.
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thanks for the replies lads, i still haven't a clue what to do, but she's away until next week so i suppose i'll think about it til then.
i'm having a much harder time now with the tele/SG thing anyway!
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Been there/am there right now.
At the end of the day, unless you have a relationship/friendship with the other guy, it isn't a moral issue on your behalf. It is a moral issue on HER behalf.
If there are no kids etc involved, and you want more from this girl than a one night stand then you owe it to yourself to do what you need to do to be as happy as you can be.
You can't force her to cheat; but if she is attracted enough to you to take things up a level with you, then who are you to stand in the way of that?
I am in this situation now, and it is awkward. Things just tend to get a bit complicated and it is tricky dealing with the girls guilt that she will most likely feel after/when she has cheated on him. If you're ready to deal with all that, then go for it. If you like someone, and suspect that she may like you, then you should see how far you can take it.
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Two thoughts on this
1) It's bad karma - none of us would want a girl to do that to us and by doing it we make more more misery in this world .
She should sort out her issues with her fella and split if she doesn't want to be with him (and thewn see you when she is free to do so)
2) The other thought is that if she'll do it to him, then she'll do it to you.
Find someone with a better moral code
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If the guy is a hench body builder then i wouldn't recommend it :p
But yeah i wouldn't do it as i would be really pissed if someone stole my girlfriend.
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Two thoughts on this
1) It's bad karma - none of us would want a girl to do that to us and by doing it we make more more misery in this world .
She should sort out her issues with her fella and split if she doesn't want to be with him (and thewn see you when she is free to do so)
2) The other thought is that if she'll do it to him, then she'll do it to you.
Find someone with a better moral code
+1
If the guy is a hench body builder then i wouldn't recommend it :p
:lol:
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I 100% agree with feline, BAD KARMA!
Women tend string men along just don't be a mug and leave em too it. Theres this 1 chick at work who is the biggest flirt and all the guys follow her round with their tongues hanging out and I show her pretty much 0 attention which I know she hates haha.
Don't bother it ain't worth the hassel. Plenty more fish in the sea but the problem most are Whales or trouts!
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I also agree 100% with Feline.
I've been exactly where you are now blue, and can vouch for the complete accuracy of the statement, "if she'll do it to him, then she'll do it to you".
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Even though you should walk away for all the good reasons posted above, you're probably not going to, are you? ;)
Just remember what they say about Love and War:
One involves a lot of phyiscal and psychological pain, and the other one's War.
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Dude all you need to know is Karma is a bitch dont f*ck with it or it WILL come back to f*ck you.... :wink:
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Karma is a word that get's misused a lot nowadays. I blame "My Name Is Earl".......
......Anyway, when I met my current girlfriend, I was seeing someone and so was she. Neither of us make a habit of cheating on our partners and we didn't want to then. However, being human, one thing led to another the original lusty spark of "Blimey, she's got a lovely arse and I want to bite it" turned into something much more serious. I finished with my gf (which I still feel guilty about as she hadn't done anything wrong) and my current gf finished with her boyfriend (who was a knobhead anyway, I'm still waiting to take him and his mates up on the fight they promised me).
Now we're together and it's only 76 days until we get married.
So my very sensible comment on the matter is.........see what happens. If I hadn't hurt my ex, I wouldn't be marrying the girl of my dreams. Sucks, but that's life. Sometimes people get hurt (like her ex is going to when 3 goons chuck him in the back of a transit and give him a good shoeing)
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oh dude im glad you dont believe in karma cause if i was you, id be thinking i was in for some really bad sh*t :(
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Nah man, best thing all round I'd say. I'm very happy, my current gf is very happy, my ex is happy (so I'm told) and my current gf's ex is still a knob who's still got a kicking due (it may be 5 or so years, but I've got a long memory) :twisted:
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mr monkey, you make an excellent point, "what if...?"
i'm not pushing things, just take it easy and see what happens, after all, she came after me, and she waited a while before telling me about the boyfriend, maybe that's gonna end anyway?
interesting that so many others are or have been in the same position, glad i'm not the only one that sees it as a moral dilemma.
i've seen lots of my friends cheat and be cheated on, and it's been done to me, but i've never cheated on anyone. a lot of them seem to treat it all as the normal way of doing things. bewilders me! my favourites are the guys that have no problem cheating on the girlfriend, but go mad if she even looks at someone else!
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Congrats to you and your girl, ToneMonkey :P
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i've been in that situation... i went for it, had a great 4 years so far and we'll be getting married soon.
i think you might as well play the waiting game on this one, if it works out, it will be worth it. maybe she also feels guilty regarding her current boyfriend. obviously, it wouldn't be cheaing if she left him first - which is what happend with me.
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Cheers Muzzzz.
Have a look at the link (it's a site for the wedding that the nearly wifey made), check out the photo's of the place we've managed the wangle for the wedding. Really looking forward to it now. Just over 10 weeks to go.
http://kajandcaroline.weddingpath.com/19634
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Congrats Kaj - have a cracking day. I got married 18 months ago and had a blinding day. It flies by, so enjoy it!
Don't forget to have live music too - DJ's are banned from musician's weddings :D
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Got a DJ included with the package, but he's on very strick orders. If I hear any Abba or typical wedding songs, I'll set my cousins on him.
Got a decent band though, my luthier mates band. He's one of the best guitarists I've seen (used to play in the Traveling Riverside Blues band, if anyone remembers them). The bass player changes around a bit, but they often have Horrice (formally of The Specials). The singer/sax player is top notch (session musician I think) and the drummer plays the complete set with his eye's closed. Been to see the band quite a lot, so they were the obvious choice.
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WOW, what a nice place for the wedding. Congrats!
All I did was hop a flight to Las Vegas and got married by Elvis...lol
The cheap way out...
On the subject at hand.
I too say a cheater will always be a cheater. But this might not be your case. Maybe things are not working out with her current b/f and she is the kind of girl who dont like to be alone and needs someone else before she breaks the other relationship off.
I say give her a ride if she is willing to break it off with the current dude.
If not, move on to the next chick.
There are too many chicks in the shack to be driving yourself crazy over one..
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oh nice Tonemonkey
If I were you I'd FORCE the band to play Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight and/or Dave Matthews Band - Two Step :P
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Good to see you have a band booked-great venue too.I had the cr@ppiest dj ever at my wedding-my wife banned me from getting my band to play. I have played a few weddings in my time but I am not keen as I find it too much of a responsibility.
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Just remember what they say about Love and War:
One involves a lot of phyiscal and psychological pain, and the other one's War.
I seem to remember thatas a spaced quote...classic show...any hoo!
My wife when I met her was married & in a bad situation with him. We noted each other's interest in each other & made a decision to either take it further or leave it there....as I said, we're married now. But a hint, never get involved with a women who's husband is a bouncer :roll: :cry:
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I seem to remember thatas a spaced quote...classic show...any hoo!
I wondered how long it would take for someone to notice :)
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you are a person of great taste 99! check out my avi!
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I was in Crouch End at the weekend, they filmed Shawn Of The Dead and Spaced there. Went past Simon Peggs house too.
Didn't see The Winchester :cry:
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My current girlfriend was someone my best friend fancied for ages but they weren't going out. I think it was fair game but I did feel quite guilty for the first few months. We're all still great friends so all good :D
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As for the guitars get them both. They don't cause much trouble :wink:
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forget the girl, start a new rock n roll band, travel the world and women will come running! lol
It's easy. :twisted: