It's getting late here but I'll see if I can help.
RE #1: The tab that is bent back and soldered to the pot case is grounded, Les Paul types have this on tone pots too.
#2: Assuming you have a CRL or Oak type switch you will see a wiper that makes contact with the tabs as you move it (if you have an enclosed plastic type switch you will see nothing, so get yourself a decent switch as they are easier to work on and are much more durable). Some of the tabs are longer and are always in contact with the wiper (one on each side of the switch).
One of these is the ground and the other is the "out". It doesn't matter which one you choose for ground and output as they're mirror images of each other but you must wire the "hot" of the pickups to the same side of the switch as your chosen "out".
You can see that as you move the switch the wiper chooses which pickup(s) to connect with the "out".
If you feel adventurous you can then connect other wires from the pickups to the "ground" side of the switch to perform coil splitting. In fact you may choose to use one of the other shorter tabs as ground, it depends on what you plan to do.
There are some good diagrams on this site
http://guitarelectronics.zoovy.com/category/wiringresources/