different valves will tame the brightness to a degree, but to get rid of the extreme treble you'll need to mod the amp (done lots of these mods on JCM800s). also, are you running the amp at low (bedroom) volumes? - if so you have your answer right there, these are stage amps and only sound good at decent volumes.
Try some JJ ECC83s for a darker preamp valve. For EL34s I'd say that EH 6CA7s are your best bet, they're quite dark too (6CA7s are an American equivalent of EL34s - EVH used 'em in his Marshalls).
What speakers are you using btw? - G12T-75s would perhaps be the worst possible choice for this amp. G12Hs are a perfect match and I've had good results with the G12-65s too.
What pickups are in your guitar - those JCM800s tend to like something a bit hotter to counter the treble in the amp.
:twisted: