Best and/or Worst Lyrics

[MrBump]

OK, don't know if it's been done before, but lets expose some genius/tragic songwriting, shall we?

First of, Genius!  David Bowie/Tin Machine, the track is Crack City:

"And you the master dealer, may death be on your brow
May razors slash your mainline, I'm calling you out right now
May all your vilest nightmares consume your shrunken head
May the hounds of paranoia dance upon your stinking bed
Don't look at me you f*ckhead, this nation's turning blue
It's stink it fouls the highways, it's filth it sticks like glue

Gonna hit Crack City!"

Priceless!

Mark.

[Twinfan]

Tragic:

Airbourne - Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast

....
Thieves in the night rob you blind
With surgical precision
You can't evade the eye in the sky
He got facial recognition
....

Ouch   :oops:

[Antag]

A recent billy Idol song would have to be a contender in the awfulness stakes:

I wanna* make you beg, juice running' down my leg...

* or is it "I'm gonna"?

:roll: :lol:

[noodleplugerine]

The classic...

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

[sambo]

The classic...

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

+Infinity.



Oh dear oh dear oh dear at the Airbourne and Billy Idol ones though. :oops:

[noodleplugerine]

More Dylan:

Leave your stepping stones behind, something calls for you.
Forget the dead you've left, they will not follow you.
The vagabond who's rapping at your door
Is standing in the clothes that you once wore.
Strike another match, go start anew
And it's all over now, Baby Blue.

[Antag]

Even allowing for the fact that they're my all-time favourite band, Exodus have had some pretty awful lyrics.  There are so many painfully inane examples to choose from, but I think that this verse & chorus just take it:

See them sweat as the tables are set & the frenzy is about to begin
Eagerly they await the chance to swallow their bait & their patience is wearing thin
When they no longer bear to delay this affair, we serve it up thick & raw
Only cater our way, thrash $%&#in' filets, a banquet if you're hungry to brawl

Your last meal left you dissatisfied now the zoo keepers have arrived
First come, first served you better get in line, 'cos it's supper time
Yeah it's feeding time at the zoo, if you get too close you lose a finger or two
Soothing the savage beast in you is the last thing we wanna do
Yeah it's feeding time at the zoo, all the stories you heard, every one is true
Time has come for rendevous, it's feeding time for me & you


(Yet I still love the song because awful lyric or not, they sound like they're having so much fun playing it! :lol:)

[noodleplugerine]

One of the greatest song ever, with possibly THE worst lyrics ever:

Holy Diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me

Ride the tiger
You can see his stripes but you know he's clean
Oh don't you see what I mean

No dio. We don't see what you mean.

[fbloke]

" I have only come here seeking knowledge
Things they would not teach me of in college"

So there you go folks, rhyme "knowledge" with "college" and you too could live in a huge Georgian mansion just like Sting.

[il˙ti]

Whitesnake have tremendous lyrics, and quite horrid ones aswell.

The good:
You cry for mercy,
When you think youve lost your way,
You drift alone, if all your hope is gone
So find the strength and you will see
You control, your destiny,
After all is said and done

So take me with you,
Take me far away,
And lead me to the distant shore

Sail your ship across the water,
Spread your wings across the sky
Take the time to see
You're the one who holds the key,
Or sailing ships will pass you by


and the glorious:

I can't see you, baby,
I can't see you anymore, no more
You keep on loving me
Like I've never known before
I wanna superstitious woman
With a superstitious, a superstitious mind, an' I don't mind, baby

My heart is beating faster, babe,
It's beating like a big bass drum
You know you got me speeding, child,
Faster than a bullet from a gun
You're a superstitious woman
An' I got a superstitious mind, an' I don't care

So take me down slow an' easy,
Make love to me slow an' easy
I know that hard luck an' trouble
Is coming my way,
So rock me 'til I'm burned to the bone,
Rock me 'til I'm burned to the bone


And then we have the utterly horrendous yet incredibly rock'n'roll:

Walking down the street
You're the center of my universe
You got the world in your pocket,
my manhood in your purse
You ain't a bad girl, honey
No matter what the neighbours say
It's just that you were those skin-tight dresses
With your g-string tuned to A!

Sweet, sweet, child of the street

Heaven sent, you're an angel dressed in black,
Cool, stiletto strut, you're a drop jaw cardiac
You're the genuine, feline, prettiest girl I've ever seen,
With your thief of hearts smile
You're a certified pleasure machine

Sweet, sweet, child of the street

Dressed to kill in diamonds and fur,
You get what you want
With your pussy cat purr

But, the kittens got claws,
She'll tear your heart out
The kittens got claws,
She'll scratch your back
The kittens got claws
She'll tease an' please you
The kittens got claws,
She's a heart attack

[Simon D]

My vote for some of the best: Alter Bridge - Wayward One

And they cry
And they call
As the wayward walk alone

City lights
Urban sprawl
In a place no one should know

Shown no grace
Shown no love
These mean streets are meant for none

Take them back to the start
Let the purest of heart
Know their worth is still spoken

As they fight to exist
We neglect and resist
Let this circle be broken

Broken homes
Broken lives
They repeat themselves in time

It's passed on
Down the line
Till we heal the wounds inside

It's not too late
To make things right
Dress wounds with loves pure light

They're still waiting
They still cry
They still want to know they'll be all right

All I'm saying
Can we try?
To bring the wayward ones back home tonight
Bring the wayward one back home tonight

[maverickf1jockey]

From the Ayreon album 01011001:

(To a tune not dissimilar to 'Radio Gaga' by Queen)

"And on that shining day
There is a way
For our DNA
To find a world to stay
And on that shining day
There is a way
For our DNA
To find a world to stay

(With the same chordal backing but a different vocal line)

Do we have the right to create life?
And do we have the right to take it away?
YEAH!" :lol:

That last improvised addition of 'yeah' just ruined the song at first but it actually makes it as it just totally cracks me up!

From the same album:

"Let's break down the barrier
And do what no one has dared
Let's break the equation: E=MC2"

Lyrically there are also numerous horrific flashbacks to Jeff Wayne's War of the Worlds concept album.

[il˙ti]

I love 01, but yes the lyrics are horrific. Not unlike Scenes from a Memory.

[headtheball]

Clutch: Careful With That Mic.

Not only does it make almost every hip-hop "dis" track ever recorded seem like witless playground garbage, it has the rare distinction of having jokes ehich are funny more than twice:

so tell me, when you took the practice scholastic aptitude test
did you know the answers or did you just guess?
you rely on gimmicks to amuse your fans
and act all urban to jack-up your sound-scan.
what's the matter with you? how come you rhyme monosyllabically?
is atrophy shrinking your entire vocabulary?
your style's like garbage cans meant to be taken out on a weekly basis.
ever since your first record you've been in a state of suspended animation.
you look like snuffaluffagus and australopithecus.
me cray, you abacus.
but enough about you, let's talk about me and how single-handedly i redefined the science of radio astronomy,
making nobel prize winners question their notions of reality.
oh, but i digress… you play sorry, i play chess.
king's pawn to b3, checkmate, go get some percosets.

careful with that mic, weezy.
do you really think it's that easy?

mmmm… this is really good ice cream!
you want some of it?
oh, my bad i didn't know you were lactose intolerant.
makes you pass gas, frightens all the girls away.
only friends you keep are those you pay.
always on the ready for the wack snack attack,
I carry sandwiches around in a straight-edge style jansport backpack.
got the gadget q gave bond. take control of your mind and make
you jump in a pond, go "quack quack" and flap your arms, leave you confused, but completely unharmed.

careful with that mic, weezy.
do you really think it's that easy?
do you really think it's true
that up above they can't hear you?

now both you and i know that the past ten years have been rather intense.
i'm ashamed to admit that i've been fooled by the seductions of violence.
people walking around with ugly auras.
at times i'm even tempted to seek the advice of dr. laura,
but i ignore her.

so i take a deep breath and count to ten,
ain't gonna let it get under my skin.
take a deep breath and count to ten.
think of all the nice places that i been

like back when i was waging peace against the visigoths,
i was tutored in the ancient mysteries by a wizened philosoph,
learned the polyrhythm of celestial time,
and wait for the one to come and get it done to finish the rhyme.

careful with that mic, weezy.
do you really think it's that easy?
do you really think it's true
that up above they can't hear you?

Written down, though, it loses a lot, as it's as much about the phrasing as the actual words.

[Scotty477]

Neil Young has been my favourite artist for about 30+ years now and some of his lyrics are still awesome. This is a simple song but with lyrics that express a deep sense of loss - which it in fact was in this case for Young.


The Needle And The Damage Done

I caught you knockin'
at my cellar door
I love you, baby,
can I have some more
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

I hit the city and
I lost my band
I watched the needle
take another man
Gone, gone, the damage done.

I sing the song
because I love the man
I know that some
of you don't understand
Milk-blood
to keep from running out.

I've seen the needle
and the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's
like a settin' sun.