All very good points, and all making me feel a bit better about the situation, heh. It just got on my tits a bit the fact that until recently I haven't shown my true potential, but suddenly I have started writing really well thought out lyrics, which are verging on poetic, whereas before I would tell the story in really plain terms and I hate that, I prefer to have pictures painted when I listen to a song. On top of that, I've been trying to break away from the A, B, C, A, B, C way of writing and structuring songs and it's a REALLY hard habit to break, I'm finding it really difficult, but at the same time it is pushing myself to evolve as a musician. My playing isn't great, but I still try to make things as fresh sounding to me as possible.
Ideally I want to try to write things with the beauty and equal ferocity and complexity of Opeth / Ihsahn and bands like that, but I find they can be fairly boring sometimes. Yes, ok, they might not be traditional in their song structures, but I have noticed they will go into one riff, quite clearly enjoying it (and rightly so) and play it 8 times, then move on to the next section, same again, play it 8 times, move on again. It just gets boring after a bit... the only exception is Deliverance as I'm completely addicted to the hooks in that song and I play it over and over :lol: But I digress...
I think maybe I'm also putting too much pressure on myself to over-complicate things when my musicianship clearly can't keep up with the ideas in my head, and that really frustrates me.
Sorry for the rant, heh :D. I actually feel like my head might split open and I seem to be causing myself such a lot of stress where, if I look at the situation objectively, maybe I need to down tools for a bit and go out and enjoy the world...but for some reason I feel like every moment is precious and I should be at my music computer just playing my fingers to the bone until something accidentally slips out, or I have an epiphany.
Early midlife crisis perhaps? :?