Rightio, here's what I hear as far as critique goes:
1. I'd give the singer a bit more studio grease. His voice is pretty dry. It could stand being turned up a bit too.
2. The bass volume is lower than I'd like.
3. The lead guitar overlaps with the vocals big time. Either change the panning a bit, EQ them so they don't share the same frequencies as much, drop the volume on the lead guitar when the singer is singing, or a combination of all of this. In fact, the lead guitar is too center-mixed for my liking regardless of the vox.
4. Some of the sweeps at the end might be a bit out of time. It could be me though.
So there are my initial impressions. It's really intense music and not the kind of thing that I listen to, although I can tell that you guys know your instruments well.