« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2007, 09:06:57 PM »
Tower: "Say fuelstate."
Pilot: "fuelstate."
Tower: "Say again."
Pilot: "again."
Tower: "Arghl, give me your fuel!"
Pilot: "Sorry, need it by myself..."
Pilot: "Does the enemy F-16 come from east or west?"
Tower: "Yes."
Pilot: "Yes, what?"
Tower: "Yes, SIR!"
Pilot: Tower, can I have a rough time-check?!
Tower: It is Tuesday, sir!
Pilot: "Tower, request permission to enter zone XY."
Tower: "Negative."
Pilot: "Tower, did you say `negative'?"
Tower: "Affirmative."
Pilot: "Understood `affirmative'. I will call you leaving the zone."
Pilot: "Bratislava Tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo estabished ILS 16."
Tower: Oescar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm - and by the way: this is Wien Tower."
Pilot: (after a while) "Bratsilava Tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo passed the outer marker."
Tower: "Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more: you are approaching Vienna!"
Pilot: (after a while) "Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?"
Tower: "You can believe me, this is Vienna!
Pilot: (after a while) "But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not to Vienna!"
Tower: Oescar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach, turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava."
Pilot: "...Tower, please call me a fuel truck."
Tower: "Roger. You are a fuel truck."
Controller: "Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring emergency about two hours ago ?"
Pilot: "Negativ, Sir. It's only the same pilot."
Controller: "Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading."
Pilot: "Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345..."
Tower: "Lufthansa 893, number one, checkcar on the runway."
Pilot: "Roger we'll check the car on the runway."
Controller: "Flamingo 019, do you have a "Springbock" in sight, twelve o'clock five miles crossing from left to right ?"
Pilot: "If you mean a 737...?"
Controller: "Yeah, you got it, you got it!"
Tower: "Delta Fox Alpha, hold position, Marshall will park you."
Pilot: "Roger. Looking out for John Wayne."
Tower: you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!
Pilot: give us another hint, we have digital watches!
Tower: Mission 123, do you have problems?
Pilot: I think, I have lost my compass.
Tower: Judging the way you are flying, you lost the whole instrument panel!
Pilot: Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please.
Tower: KLM 242 expect start up in two hours.
Pilot: Please confirm: two hours delay?
Tower: Affirmative
Pilot: In that case, cancel the good morning!
There are some more at
http://www.flugsimulator.de/jokes/jokes.htmTwo of my favorites:
Pilot: There's a runway light burning.
Tower: I hope there's more than one...
Pilot: Uh, sorry... I meant it's on fire.
Tower: Alitalia 194 - taxi to rwy 28, hold short
AZ194: Ahhh, yes, taxi to rwy 28
Tower: AZ194, cleared for take-off
AZ194: Ahhh, two minutes, need preflight (checks)
30 seconds later...
Tower: Alitalia 194, YOU ARE CLEARED FOR TAKE OFF NOW.
AZ194: Ehmmm, yes, yes, take off in two minutes ....
...
Tower: Alitalia 194, expedite take-off, we have Delta 767 final on 28 in 2 miles!
AZ194: Ahhh, we need 30 more seconds...
DL104: Hey Spaghetti, take-off or I'll $%&# you from behind!
Logged
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