Author Topic: Hilarious (Read 8318 times)

noodleplugerine · « **on:** November 19, 2007, 07:42:23 AM »

Just out of interest, does anyone else just happen to be on the mailing list for guitars.co.uk?

I'm just laughing my head off at the emails popping from this guy.

Brow · « **Reply #1 on:** November 19, 2007, 05:38:37 PM »

Quote from: noodleplugerine

Just out of interest, does anyone else just happen to be on the mailing list for guitars.co.uk?

I'm just laughing my head off at the emails popping from this guy.

Yeah, I am.

The 1 with the guy calling him a ***wit and basically slagging him off was hilarious :twisted:

dave_mc · « **Reply #2 on:** November 19, 2007, 05:55:06 PM »

no, but you can't say that without posting the emails! (unless it breaks any rules here, of course)

horsehead · « **Reply #3 on:** November 19, 2007, 07:23:45 PM »

Awww comon now we gotta know

Simon D · « **Reply #4 on:** November 19, 2007, 08:57:13 PM »

Yeah, I'm on that list - although $%&# knows why.

It is funny, up to a point, but the guy does need to be careful - he could damage his business by sending a bunch of (technically) spam emails to people who've signed up to hear about good deals on guitar gear.

noodleplugerine · « **Reply #5 on:** November 19, 2007, 10:02:05 PM »

Quote from: Simon D

Yeah, I'm on that list - although $%&# knows why.

It is funny, up to a point, but the guy does need to be careful - he could damage his business by sending a bunch of (technically) spam emails to people who've signed up to hear about good deals on guitar gear.

+1 - it's very amateurish, I was finding the guy's reply hilarious.

I'll post the emails now...

DO NOT TAKE THE UNDER SERIOUSLY - I DO NOT ADVOCATE ETC ETC ETC.

Quote

Hi

** Only bother reading this if you drive!! **

I do apologise for a totally NON guitar related email but I think it is of equal importance.

I received this email today. I never get involved in chain letter but thought the information may be of value.

We are hitting 99.9p a litre in some areas now, soon we will be faced
with paying £1+ a ltr. Philip Hollsworth offered this good idea:
This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the 'don't buy petrol on a certain day campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to hurt ourselves by refusing to buy petrol. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work.
Please read it and join in!

Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost of a litre is CHEAP, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the market place not sellers. With the price of petrol going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of petrol come down is if we hit someone in the pocket by not purchasing their Petrol! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. Here's the idea: For the rest of this year DON'T purchase ANY petrol from the two biggest oil companies (which now are one), ESSO and BP. If they are not selling any petrol, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices,the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact we need to reach literally millions of Esso and BP petrol buyers. It's really simple to do!!

Now, don't whimp out on me at this point... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I am sending this note to a lot of people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers! If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it... ..
THREE HUNDRED MILLIONPEOPLE!!!
Again, all You have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all.(and not buy at ESSO/BP) How long would all that take? If each of us sends this email out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8days!!! Acting together we can make a difference If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on.
PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE 69p a LITRE RANGE
It's easy to make this happen. Just forward this email, and buy your petrol at Shell, Asda,Tesco, Sainsburys, Morrisons Jet etc. i.e. boycott BP and Esso.

Quote

Hi - AGAIN!

RE: My last email about petrol prices...

OK - So my contempt for politics and globalisation took over me....sorry guys (and gals of course).

It probably wasn't professional to send out the email.

If you think I am bad you should see my brothers website http://www.thejourneytree.org (now THATS hardcore!).

So to make ammends for all the BP shareholders I upset....

Anyone who cycles to my shop next Saturday can have 10% off their invoice price!!

Yay - Turned it around - got the relevancy back and we save the planet...well kind of....I think I should stick to guitars.

Sooo get those helmets on, feet a peddling and we'll see you next Weekend and if you DID unsubscribe from seeing my last email - GOOD 'cos you won't be seeing this deal will you. Aha!

Hope you are well - better than me at least.

Best Regards

Richard Cholerton (Director)
http://www.guitars.co.uk

Quote

Hi there

My customer of the week award goes to...

Wait for the drumroll...

Michael!! Email: leahcim@ntlworld.com

Its people like Michael that just make this world such a damned fine place to live in and they NEED to be recognised.

If it wasn't for people like Michael I don't think I could face the week ahead.

So here is the mighty fine email that won Michael his customer of the week award!!! (The first bit you will notice was from my last email)...

Hi - AGAIN!
>
> RE: My last email about petrol prices...
>
> OK - So my contempt for politics and globalisation took over me....sorry guys (and gals of course).
>
> It probably wasn't professional to send out the email.
>
No it's things like spelling "amends" incorrectly and the general
amateur nature of your business, site and your communications that show
you're unprofessional.
But that isn't new.

This, on the other hand, the content of your last email and this one,
just demonstrate that you're Britain's number one f*ckwit.
> Anyone who cycles to my shop next Saturday can have 10% off their invoice price!!
>
Good idea. Anyone who carries a guitar and amp, effects and so on home
on their push bike will save 10% on your store price, which is over
priced compared with your internet site, and reputable dealers, by more
than 10%. Not to mention the practicality of carrying all that stuff on
a bicycle.

I say good idea because, if you get someone, you could point to said
person as being a bigger f*ckwit than you are saving yourself from
getting the award.

But it is obviously a dumb deal. So either you're being even more of an
unprofessional c**t and taking the p*ss once more with this so-called
'deal', or you're even more stupid that it is possible to believe.

_______

Obviously I have *** out the odd letter or two for obvious reasons.

Thanks Michael - You have won a FREE guitar worth £200.

I'll "present" it to you personally.

Best Regards

Richard Cholerton (Director)
http://www.guitars.co.uk

Simon D · « **Reply #6 on:** November 19, 2007, 10:13:59 PM »

Yep, there they are. I would have posted them myself, but I deleted them about five minutes before seeing the thread!

They guy who replied to him had several good points! :)

FELINEGUITARS · « **Reply #7 on:** November 19, 2007, 10:33:12 PM »

Yes - you cycle to the shop , get the 10% discount , then ring up your dad to drive down there and pickup your stuff in his petrol guzzling 4x4.
And also get mum to drive there to pickup your bike because you dont want to cycle home

Simon D · « **Reply #8 on:** November 19, 2007, 10:44:45 PM »

^ Or pop the bike rack on the back of the car, park a few streets away, and it's job done!

noodleplugerine · « **Reply #9 on:** November 19, 2007, 11:38:28 PM »

My dad works for the BP, and we have a cr@pload of shares.

Maybe we should pop down in Bikes sprayed Green and yellow :>

JDC · « **Reply #10 on:** November 20, 2007, 08:47:44 AM »

tell people to stop driving around town in 2 litre saloon and down grade to a smart for two, or a battery powered ariel atom!!!

on a more serious note we use oil for all sorts, one day it'll be so expensive alternative fuels will actually be cheaper, it's about economics and demand and supply at the end of the day

ToneMonkey · « **Reply #11 on:** November 20, 2007, 09:08:20 AM »

Did you know that technically, electric cars are much worse for the envornment?

Obviously it's a step in the right direction and the margin between the two is comming down, but I was quite suprised.

indysmith · « **Reply #12 on:** November 20, 2007, 09:59:33 AM »

Quote from: ToneMonkey

Did you know that technically, electric cars are much worse for the envornment?

why? how? eh!?

Jonesy76 · « **Reply #13 on:** November 20, 2007, 10:27:16 AM »

What do you think charges the bateries??

Yep..........coal and gas power stations! They provide the large proportion of our electricity in this country.

Plus did any of you see what happened when Top Gear tested that GeeWhiz electric car in a Euro NCAP crash test? :?
I'll stick to my Japanese 1.8 petrol thanks very much. It's fuel efficient and safe!

Ratrod · « **Reply #14 on:** November 20, 2007, 10:27:46 AM »

Quote from: indysmith

Quote from: ToneMonkey
Did you know that technically, electric cars are much worse for the envornment?

why? how? eh!?

Electric cars need to be charged. Most of them can be charged at your house. Simply plug it in. The energy comes from power plants that mostly use fosil fuels such as coles. So that's just moving the problem. Plus they're very ineffecient.