Best and/or Worst Lyrics

[Muzzzz]

hahaha +1 for Scenes from a Memory, they tell a good story but the lyrics are so literal its rediculous.

i love dream theater but their lyrics are either rediculously literal or pointlessly abstract:


"Tell me
Remind me
Chase the water racing from the sky
Always beside me
Taste the memories running from my eyes
Nervous flashlights scan my dreams
Liquid shadows silence their screams
I smile at the moon
Chasing water from the sky
I argue with the clouds
Stealing beauty from my eyes

Outside the soundness of your mind
Bathing your soul in silver tears
Beneath a blackened summer sky
Praying for time to disappear

Beneath a summer sky
Under glass moonlight
Night awaits the lamb's arrival
Liquid shadows crawl
Silver teardrops fall
The bride subsides to her survival

By your hand
I've awakened
Bear this honor in my name"


...


WHAT??!

the awesome lyrics prize would have to go to Opeth, and more specifically anything from Ghost Reveries, probably Harlequin Forest.

[noodleplugerine]

Actually - Forgot some absolutely fantastic lyrics - From a song I love.

DEP - Unretrofied.

Is the can half-diseased or is the disease half-canned?
And is the man half-machine or is the machine half-man?
I'm unretrofied for you

I'll just fake it in the end
Just save it for a new song and leave dead in the end
Time is wasted in the end
Wood-paneled wagon carpool dragons killing me again

Now they're looting our holes until there is nothing left
Calloused intentions it seems -- coward's invention at best
I'm unretrofied for you

[MrBump]

From my all time favorite lyricist, Richard Thompson, and the song Wood Of Darney...

When I showed you the picture, perhaps I felt jealousy
As your tears welled up with each reminisce
And my hands may be rougher and my tongue may be coarser
But I knew I could give you a love good as his

When you listen to the whole song it's just unbelievable how he manages to completely put himself into the role of a front-line soldier, and the feelings of fear and loss...

Amazing lyric.

[plastercaster]

One of the worst:

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb,
Without a soul (without)
My spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back....home

(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I Can't Wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life- Evanescence.

Although this is just the tip of the dull, cliched, self pitying iceburg.

also [troll] everything between "there's a lady who's sure.." up to "...to be a rock, and not to roll"
It's bullshitee!
namby-pamby hippy cr@p! [/troll]

Favourite lyric?

A punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet ?

When in this charming car
This charming man

Why pamper life's complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger seat ?

Smiths - this charming man

Also, the line "tramps like us, baby we were born to run", just for the air-punching brilliance of it.

[noodleplugerine]

OH shite!

I totally forgot to talk about cr@p lyrics!

Well surely there are no worse lyrics than these?

Unos, dos, tres, catorce [1,2,3,14]

Turn it up loud, captain!

Lights go down
It's dark
The jungle is your head
Can't rule your heart
I'm feeling so much stronger
Than I thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul
it can't be bought
your mind can wander

Hello, Hello
Hola! [Spanish for Hello]
I'm at a place called vertigo (¿Dónde está?) [Where is it?]
It's everything I wish I didn't know
Except you give me something I can feel
Feel

The night is full of holes
Those bullets rip the sky
Of ink with gold
They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll
They know that they can't dance
At least they know

I can sell the beat
I'm askin' for the cheque
Girl with crimson nails
Has Jesus 'round the neck
Swinging to the music
Swinging to the music
Woooao

Hello, Hello
Hola!
I'm at a place called Vertigo (¿Dónde está?) [Where is it?]
It's everything I wish I didn't know
But you give me something I can feel
Feel

Check mated
Oh yeah
Hours of fun...


Coincides nicely with the other thread.

[Ratrod]

The weirdest lyrics of all time. John Fogerty must have ate one hell of a mushroom:

Just got home from illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Got to sit down, take a rest on the porch.
Imagination sets in, pretty soon Im singin,

Chorus:
Doo, doo, doo, lookin out my back door.

Theres a giant doing cartwheels, a statue wearin high heels.
Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn.
A dinosaur victrola listning to buck owens.

Chorus

Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band.
Wont you take a ride on the flyin spoon?
Doo, doo doo.
Wondrous apparition provided by magician.

Chorus

Tambourines and elephants are playing in the band.
Wont you take a ride on the flyin spoon?
Doo, doo doo.
Bother me tomorrow, today, Ill buy no sorrows.

Chorus

Forward troubles illinois, lock the front door, oh boy!
Look at all the happy creatures dancing on the lawn.
Bother me tomorrow, today, Ill buy no sorrows.

Chorus

[mecca777]

My all-time favourite terrible line is from "Africa" by Toto.

I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti

Best simile ever. Comparing a mountain... to a smaller mountain. Way to go guys. Oh, and technically Kilimanjaro isn't on the Serengeti either, but I suppose "sure as Kilimanjaro rises like another enormous mountain over the Kilimanjaro National Park" doesn't rhyme with "soiltary company". "Africa" by Toto: a strong contender for the worst song lyric ever?

[Sailor Charon]

OH shitee!

I totally forgot to talk about cr@p lyrics!

Well surely there are no worse lyrics than these?

Unos, dos, tres, catorce [1,2,3,14]

Did anybody else catch the episode of The Now Show where Mitch Benn did a parody of this (because Bono was guest presenter on 'Today')?

It begins...
Eins, Zwei, Drei, Vierzig [1, 2, 3, 40]
And the chorus goes

Hello, Hello
This is Today on the radio
I don't know how it's gonna go,
But the fact that I'm doing it's quite surreal (not sure about this line)
Quite surreal..

[maverickf1jockey]

hahaha +1 for Scenes from a Memory, they tell a good story but the lyrics are so literal its rediculous.

i love dream theater but their lyrics are either rediculously literal or pointlessly abstract:


"Tell me
Remind me
Chase the water racing from the sky
Always beside me
Taste the memories running from my eyes
Nervous flashlights scan my dreams
Liquid shadows silence their screams
I smile at the moon
Chasing water from the sky
I argue with the clouds
Stealing beauty from my eyes

Outside the soundness of your mind
Bathing your soul in silver tears
Beneath a blackened summer sky
Praying for time to disappear

Beneath a summer sky
Under glass moonlight
Night awaits the lamb's arrival
Liquid shadows crawl
Silver teardrops fall
The bride subsides to her survival

By your hand
I've awakened
Bear this honor in my name"


...


WHAT??!

the awesome lyrics prize would have to go to Opeth, and more specifically anything from Ghost Reveries, probably Harlequin Forest.

The lyrics to Under a Glass Moon are improved somewhat by spelling phonetically:
"Nervous flashlights, canned margarine
Liquid shadows silence their screams
A spider at the mark
Chasing water from the sky
I argue with the clowns
Stealing beauty from my arse"

(later on)

Buy a pen
I'm a w**ker!
Baby sauna in my name!"

To avoid being a total pedant here are some of mine from a work in progress that I'd be interested to hear our opinions on:

Each time I lie down for the night
I have this recurring dream
I am in a world of emptiness
Confronted with a horrific apparition
I can't understand what it says
But I think it's important
His face is nothing but  piece of skin
Riveted to his face
He's kept alive by electronic wizardry
His face is contorted into a grin
His lower teeth are like razors
Do you understand my plight?

This is based upon a picture I drew and named PLUG. It was originally a play around with numerous HR Giger themes to create a pastiche but I set about redrawing it from memory and the result was, shall we say, unique;
In addition to this description it has a single (left) eyeball in the middle of it's skin (which only covers the top right quadrant of the skull) and a screen over the right eye socket with the word 'PLUG' repeated indefinitely.
The incisor teeth have one letter each of 'PLUG' and the canines are grossly oversized as to extend beyond the lower jaw.
A pipe/wire surrounded by sheathing that resembles a human spinal column is attached to its left temple and on the left a metal spider has been welded to the bone.
A 12AX7/ECC83 valve is operating on the left hand side of its face just above the forehead.
The forehead has my signature.

Needless to say; it was a self portrait. 8)

[AngusYoung01]

Fish's lyrics are genius.

[DeanS]

Sure is a lot to be said for instrumentals!

[Sailor Charon]

The worst lines of poetry have to be these from Wordsworth, describing a pond...
I've measured it from side to side:
'Tis three feet long, and two feet wide.

[sambo]

Personally I think these are without doubt, THE worst lyrics that have been written, and will ever be written.

I give it you, 'Des'ree' : Life...


Ooh, Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Life
Oh Life
I'm afraid of the dark
'Specially when I'm in a park
And there's no one
else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight
that I fear most
I'd rather have a
piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/aTG ]
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living
out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly
around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life..

[AngusYoung01]

Actually, the VERY worst lyrics bar none are those of the awful Kate Nash. The takes all the charm of Lilly Allen, minus the ability to sing and write half decent songs, and talks absolute shitee over it. Lord I hate that woman. Oh, and sometimes she tries to put "big words" and things into her song to make them seem intellectual, but instead they make no sense...

Here's some of her exquisite writing -
 
And I use mouthwash
Sometimes I floss
I got a family
And I drink cups of tea

Or from a lovely number entitled "Dickhead"-

Stop being a dickhead,
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just f*cking up situations
Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead,
Why you being a dickhead for
You're just f*cking up situations

Stop, now don't show
Just have a think before you
Will you, stop, now don't show
Just have a think before you

Will you stop, no don't show
Just have a think before you
Will you stop, don't show
Will you just have a think before you

My brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take with this anymore
No my brain and my bones don't want to take, this anymore, so

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why are you being a dickhead for
You're just f*cking up situations

Why are you being a dickhead for
Stop being a dickhead
Why you being a dickhead for
You're just f*cking up situations

[maverickf1jockey]

AngusYoung01's totally trounces the stuff I picked out from 01011001 (in terms of being cr@p, I mean; not in being better...)

01011001, whilst not as good as The Human Equation, where Arjen was firing  on all cylinders, is still a fantastic album after a few listens.

Can I nominate Cannibal Corpse for bad lyrics?

EDIT: Just thought of 'Girlfriend' as sung by Avril Livine. Coming from a country where civilians are allowed to carry firearms you'd think she'd make an effort to be less annoying.