OK, what about this? Surely this will appeal to those amongst us with a Tele-averse disposition....
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Fender-Spalted-Maple-Telecaster-Tele-Limited-Edition_W0QQitemZ260259140471QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item260259140471&_trksid=p3286.m14.l1318
MrBump is getting closer to the acceptable here:
Good things about that guitar:
Nice looking spalted maple. Yum :)
Bridge: better, no silly metal backplate which looks hideous on normal teles
Pickups: double humbucker - better!
Volume/tone controls: no silly metal backplate - Yes!
Bad things:
Top horn: lack thereof. That bulbous bit just looks cr@p, sorry.
Headstock: OMG that is ugly! I'm not a huge fan of the strat headstock, either, but the tele one just looks WRONG. Weedy, I think that's the word. Pathetic, maybe.
So, more good things than bad things, so that's a HUGE improvement over the normal tele.
BUT... it's still a tele, and the body shape alone is enough to make the player look like... you get the idea.
:)
Roo