Embarrassment and my apparent incompetence in opening guitar cases aside, I have the guitar in my hands!!! :)
To recap, it's a PRS Singlecut Satin in Black Cherry, with tremolo. Built in 2007, bought new just now (last one in stock.)
It's an amazing piece of work, wow! The feel is absolutely amazing, the satin finish is brilliant. The bird inlays look stunning. I haven't been a fan of zebra-colored pickups but they actually look great! The guitar was almost perfectly in tune when I got it out of the case, and intonation's spot-on.
The neck profile's wide-fat, and it feels great.
I even took some pics even though I could've been playing! ;)