I'm 27 today

[Afghan Dave]

....Those gals look like they want Mandingo.

 :lol: :lol: Now we know what sites you visit when not on this fine forum.  :lol: :lol:

[JDC]

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I heard online dating was full of women who won't settle for less than mr perfect or just liked the attention

[Johnny Mac]

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I heard online dating was full of women who won't settle for less than mr perfect or just liked the attention

There is an element of that online but it's not all like that. There would be girls in salsa classes who would want perfect dancers and pecs Ect. The key to the online dating game is to be yourself and speak to them like you would in the real world. Be a gent basically. Most of the competion (other blokes) just sleaze the women up and fail. Your on an advantage just by being pleasant. It's as easy as ABC. Really it is.


Dave, you've never used these sites? Your missing out!  :lol:

[Philly Q]

....Those gals look like they want Mandingo.

 :lol: :lol: Now we know what sites you visit when not on this fine forum.  :lol: :lol:

The film, the film!  :lol:  Haven't even seen it, it was just a big Daily Mail-style talking point when I was a kid.

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I'd choose yoga over salsa then.  Me trying to dance would be just a world of stress and embarrassment.  :?

[Ian Price]

....Those gals look like they want Mandingo.

 :lol: :lol: Now we know what sites you visit when not on this fine forum.  :lol: :lol:

The film, the film!  :lol:  Haven't even seen it, it was just a big Daily Mail-style talking point when I was a kid.

I'm not sure if the Mandingo that Afghan is referring to would make it on to the pages of the Daily Mail  :D

[Sifu Ben]

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I heard online dating was full of women who won't settle for less than mr perfect or just liked the attention

I met my wife at a salsa class  8)

[Fourth Feline]

....Those gals look like they want Mandingo.

 :lol: :lol: Now we know what sites you visit when not on this fine forum.  :lol: :lol:

-  it's certainly a reminder what lengths these Ladies are willing to go to,  in finding a suitable man.  :mrgreen:

[JDC]

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I heard online dating was full of women who won't settle for less than mr perfect or just liked the attention

I met my wife at a salsa class  8)

see, I know what I'm on about! A single positive response is enough to validate my knowledge ;)

[Philly Q]

take up yoga or salsa classes, lots of women there apparently, you don't need to worry about drunks or being heard over loud music either

I heard online dating was full of women who won't settle for less than mr perfect or just liked the attention

I met my wife at a salsa class  8)

see, I know what I'm on about! A single positive response is enough to validate my knowledge ;)

It is interesting that even in the small number of people reading this thread there's someone who got a "result" from going to salsa classes (even if statistically it proves nothing!  )

[Johnny Mac]

Salsa and is it Baroc? Do seem to be very popular. There is so much going on out there besides the pub!  :lol:

[dave_mc]

i can't believe there's such a big market for teaching people to make sauces

(sorry, even i'm embarassed by that one :oops: )

[Sifu Ben]

Salsa and is it Baroc? Do seem to be very popular. There is so much going on out there besides the pub!  :lol:

Ceroc, it's salsa for people who can't count in 4:4 time (insert drummer joke here) ;)

[Johnny Mac]

Salsa and is it Baroc? Do seem to be very popular. There is so much going on out there besides the pub!  :lol:

Ceroc, it's salsa for people who can't count in 4:4 time (insert drummer joke here) ;)

Ah! That would be good for Paul, the drummer in the 'band' I'm in.

Some chick wanted to whip him at rehearsals last week  :lol:

[Simon D]

That was a very engaging narrative ( not surprisingly - given your last 'Day job' ) .  I also thought it demonstrated / outlined very helpfully and clearly, the 'Way out of the woods' - and how naturaly slow that process often is. Slow , but in the way that to benefit from the lessons gleaned - and for the process of regeneration to sit on good foundations , is actually better moving at a sustainable ( as opposed to our prefered ) pace .  It is easier to say with hindsight,  but ( I feel ) important to emphasise  that what often feels like an erratic and slow recovery, is usually a more comprehensive recovery - and that better things follow after, than before - to this 'New' person we evolve into.

I remembered the best advice I was ever given ( which I carried out dutifully , but uncomprehending of it's true value at the time ) - by A Psychiatric constultant when hospitalised in the early 80s . He told me to do my hobbies as usual. At the time, I was just alternating between numb and anxious - and so resisted this idea.

 I said to him :

 " But I don't feel anything when I do them anymore - there is no connection " .

His reply was :

 " I  am not asking you to do them and feel anything, I'm telling you to DO them ! ".

It was a clever ruse of course, as the connections came back, neural pathways needing to be 'tickled' to re-start, whether I knew / felt / understood why or not. Of course doing the things in a state of apathy , fear and futility felt more 'uncomfortable' than leaving them alone in the early weeks and months, but it worked.

We are at least fortunate that we have our beloved hobby / hobbies to return to, and with music, one that often gets stronger and more enjoyable after letting the pasture go fallow for a length of  time.

I think the greatest message I felt from your particular story ( in respect and reverence to all that preceded too of course ) - was that we were sharing the narrative of a natural / healthy 'Life Cycle' of loss - and recovery ; that the narrative had  not only a common, painful core - but that it radiated outwards and shone forward, toward the reasonable expectation of something better .

Not least the Nobility shown in the story of looking after your Mum - and unflinchingly persevering in  "Doing the right thing " for a loved one. Also your good wishes to the preceding contributors showing continued 'greatness of spirit'.

 The stories presented in this thread, reminding us of the universal nature of these experiences - and that there IS a way forward.  As an old Japanese (?) proverb reminds us :

" Fall down eight times, stand up nine".

All the very best with your own carreer and the eventual meeting of a nice partner.

 :)

Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate it. The discussion has (ahem) moved on, but I felt it was important to say.

You've also absolutely hit the nail on the head about the erratic nature of recovery - the pace is so personal and there is no timetable.

[Johnny Mac]

Philly, I've found your woman!  :D :D

She has Coverdale quotes in her profile. Musically she is as near as your going to get without the whole lifestyle dress code.  Likes reading and movies. Looks nice, right side of 40 too!

http://www.girlsdateforfree.com/member.profile.php?oid=66855218

Go on Phil, you know it makes sense! So shall I put me suit in the cleaners for the big day!  :lol:

:D