Telecaster, What can't it do?

[Philly Q]

set neck on a tele?   SACRILEGE!!!
whatever next? humbuckers? light gauge strings?

This will sound very weird (especially to Roo) but the things I like best about Teles are the body and headstock shapes. 

I dig the tone you get from the thin bent-metal ashtray bridge, vintage pickups etc, but it's not the main appeal of a Tele for me.  I like variants like different bridges, different pickups, contoured bodies, set necks.

I really like the set-neck, mahogany-bodied, humbucker-loaded FMT Tele which is basically a Tele-shaped Les Paul - but again it's a shame it has a skinny neck.

[Roobubba]

Roo doesn't know what's good for him.  He'll see the light eventually, then we'll never hear from him again.

Don't hold yer breath!!!!!

Been playing for many a moon, and I've only ever felt more and more against that bulbous monster!

[doomcaster]

I like to keep my guitars diverse, I wouldn't know what to to with a half gibson/half fender, but I did like the idea of the 72 deluxe tele with the humbuckers, vibrato strat bridge and strat neck, but its just too damn ugly for me

[Telerocker]

A tele with P90's is still on my GAS-list.

[AndyR]

I just realised, look at the title of the thread:

"Telecaster, What can't it do?"

No-one has answered this properly as far as I can tell. Well, here we go, Andrew to the rescue! :lol:

And the definitive answer is...

A telecaster cannot, and will not ever, appeal to Roo.

Pretty much end of story... it can do almost anything and everything else, but it can't do that...

:lol:

[doomcaster]

Correct answer Andy!!!
I hereby award you 1 million internets.

[Ian Price]

A telecaster cannot, and will not ever, appeal to Roo.

Indeed. It would also have zero chance of making him look like a real man 

[Oroficus]

that bulbous monster!

I think I know where Roo's coming from, I can recall a sickly queasy feeling at the bottom of my stomach every time
I used to catch sight of a Tele, especially cream coloured ones UGH !!!
Until I realized something they had a certain similarity with 1950s Automobiles, what with all them gentle sloping curves and chrome very similar to women with all their bling on. Now I love American cars, and I love woman almost
as much as I love my guitars, now when I look at my tele I see 1950s cars, beautiful women with ruby red lips wearing
susi's and stilettos, now whats wrong with that. It's Retro man.

[Oroficus]

Having said all that I still think the headstock looks like the end of a dogs d!ck.
Or some sort of prod a farmer would use to artificially inseminate a cow with,shame about that.

[Telerocker]

Having said all that I still think the headstock looks like the end of a dogs d!ck.
Or some sort of prod a farmer would use to artificially inseminate a cow with,shame about that.

I never have/had such associations, but that's maybe due to my lack of fantasy.  :)

[Oroficus]

Yeah well it do's head stock is like the drippin end of an Alsation. Bloody awful and all that sentimental cr@p about cars n wotnot looks good on paper but to tell the truth about Teles u like em, hate em or could't give a toss any of them 3 parameters.
For all we are really talkin about is a plank of overpriced wood that makes a sound. Do I give a t@ss.




EDIT: And its a good plank of wood at that

[Sollophonic]

One thing a Tele cant do, and thats for certain.

It can't impress Roo.

[MrBump]

If anyone has some cool CAD software, can they grab a picture of Roo's WezV creation and morph it into a telecaster?  I'd like to see at which point Roo is physically sick.

[AndyR]

Having said all that I still think the headstock looks like the end of a dogs d!ck.
Or some sort of prod a farmer would use to artificially inseminate a cow with,shame about that.

Be more positive old chap - you've found something else you can do with a tele, every cloud has some sort of silver lining :lol:

Brings a new meaning to "strap on yer tele, let's get to work..." though.

[Ian Price]

One thing a Tele cant do, and thats for certain.

It can't impress Roo.

I'd like to see how he would do in a Pepsi style taste challenge. I reckon it would be the opposite of Cliff Richard saying the wine he was drinking was "insipid" before he was told it was his own brand.