Tell us what you already own so suggestions can be more accurate/readily usable. Also, the distortion side of it... Are you looking for a really messed up analog sound or do you want something more digital sounding? I know I can get tons of mud out of my setup if I take the settings on my Aphex Xciter/Big Bottom and place them somewhere ridiculous. Set correctly, it's tight as a drum and HUGE, but I use the Big Bottom and the Xciter(which can get just plain nasty and sharp in the high-mids) with sensible settings. It's not an everything on 10 device at all, but for you it could be the ticket with extreme settings.