That's nothing!
I was staggering home from the pub last night and I was stood at the crossroads waiting for the light to change...
It was taking forever and I really needed a p1ss.. so I undid my fly and let go on the lampost...
Just then an old black gentleman with a devilish smile approached me...
I thought "oh not again, I'm not shagging any hobos tonight"...
The man said "Son, I don't want your dong... I want your soul" ... So I was about to tell him to F**k off and then I realised I had no cash left and really fancied a Kebab.
So, I said "what will you give me for it"
He said "Name your price!"
So I left with a 58 Les Paul, a 12 inch dong, a chicken doner and 20 cigs!!!!
I've also woken up with an itchy rash but I didn't ask him for that.... :(