Coming to terms with Reality...

[Stevepage]

Well today I've come to the heartbreaking conclusion that I probably never will make a decent living from playing guitar.

I'm a 26 year old married man who has a full time job in garden maintenance. I've been devoted to guitar since I started playing at 11 years old. Every single day my life has been about guitar or music in some way but due to being the person I am I've never really gotten very far in terms of a music career.

I can be pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people which hindered me when it came to networking with other musicians, especially musicians who didn't play the same style of music I tend to gravitate towards (metal generally even though I love styles like Jazz and Blues too).

Since I proposed to my wife 2 years ago I came to the realization that I can't provide food, shelter or a decent standard of living on hopes of one day "maybe" getting noticed some how but I didn't want to think like that as I saw it as giving up on my dreams.

However today I had a conversation with my father-in law about him helping me out with starting up my own garden maintenance business and how I could potentially make decent money and then, like a door slammed in the face I realized that playing guitar is not going to do provide me with what I need. I have to accept that while people think I'm talented at what I do, it's not going to make me money.

Things have moved on from the dream I believed in when I was a kid and even though people do make it to be famous or have a great career as a guitarist, it's not something every one can do regardless if they think they can. The music business is very very different now days.

I know I'm going a bit guys and this may even be a bit whiney  :lol:  But I had to get it off my chest to people who love music and guitars as much as I do.

I will always have that glimmer of hope and will continue to make my own music, be it on my own or even in a band but, it's not something that I will put first or drop everything and everyone for, unless it's an opportunity that will provide me with every thing I will need.

I'm kinda sad but also have optimism for the future and will continue to be devoted to becoming a better player as nothing gives me greater pleasure, it's not something I'm prepared to give up as it's part of who I am and always will be.

So yeah, I'm going on a bit now  :lol: So if you need a gardener who also loves guitars give me a shout  :lol:

Any of you guys been through this?

[Lezard]

Fair play for making the mature decision,far too many people seem to think that they are somehow entitled to having their wildest dreams come true and then end up being bitter arse holes when they don't.

[38thBeatle]

Yep, been there and everything you have written is something I would have said when I too had that realisation at around the same age. I have a few close shaves with success and I kept my hand in with songwriting but it was never meant to be and hence I ended up in various covers bands. But I have had a ball along the way, made some great lifelong mates and knowing my addictive personality it is probably just as well that i took the path that I did. One thing is true-I am a better musician than I have derive a lot of pleasure from it. So keep at it but your family comes first-nothing else is as important and in time that is where you find your fulfillment.

[Twinfan]

A wise decision, Sir.  Have guitar playing as your hobby - never lose that - and enjoy every moment of it when you get the chance to  :)

[HTH AMPS]

We've all been there, it took me till I was 28 to realise it and a big heap of debt (£18k) on top which I only paid off November gone.

Would I do things differently? - hindsight is the most amazing thing, so yeah, there are things I'd go back and change (like wasting time and money on an education).  However, not the part that involved making music, those are the good memories that money can't buy.

The weird thing about music is that earning money from it 'feels' different - maybe its just me.  Every time I play a charity gig (i.e. for a good cause with no fee given to the band) it just feels better and more pure (at the risk of sounding poncey). 

Its a weird relationship we have with music and guitars though - if I could wipe the slate clean, owe nothing to nobody and get by as a gigging musician, I'd do it tomorrow. 

[Brow]

Whilst not *exactly* the same, I had a similar thing a few years ago when I had to give up studio/sound engineering work and get a proper job  :lol: :roll:

I did music at college but before that I did music workshops and night school classes in recording and sound engineering; I've been doing it almost as long as I've been playing guitar and gigging.

I got in with a local council run music project after I'd finished my music qualifications through an old guitar teacher of mine and was able to get a voluntary post at their studio whilst working a fulltime job in a warehouse. It wasn't Abbey Road or anything but it was good  :D I met alot of great people and learnt alot, as well as getting alot of great experience. I was basically an unpaid engineer/lackey/gofer, the hours were pretty long but I loved being around the people, bands and the general situation. As music was my main/only hobby, still is for the most part, it was very enjoyable.

After 18months of this I saved up enough money to be able to quit the warehouse job and go 'fulltime self employed' at the studio. That being that I was on the councils payroll as a sound engineer for any sessions I was able to get, and was also free to do whatever else I wanted to make ends meet money wise. I did some guitar teching and childrens music tutoring here and there to top my wages up and it was great, hard work but great  :D I also got to use the studio free of charge and did half of my bands album there over Christmas week off.

Eventually the work at the studio started to dry up and there wasn't enough work to go around the 3 or 4 engineers that the studio kept on their books

I had to make the decision to leave to get something more stable money wise, and ended up doing admin for a utilities firm. I'm still here, although at a different company now, 6 years later and I still find it a bit soul destroying every day to know that I (more or less to an extent) had the job I wanted and had to give it up.

Sorry to shatter the good mood  :lol:

[gordiji]

Reality is the domain of the wise 8).
Good look with your new project. I've been a tree surgeon for 25 yrs always playing guitar for fun & sometimes money. I'm now pretty much a full time gardener. It's not a dull job and if
as well as maintenance one can learn about plants it becomes very creative.
When i reflect , i was never a guitarist (my dream) but always a gardener which suits my nature
much more.
I look after a private estate in France now and when not in the garden i can blast my guitar as i please  'cause there's no neighbours.  :lol:
 

[TheyCallMeVolume]

Say it ain't so!

The smartest ones in the music biz are the ones who get out before it's too late. Probably not a terrible decision on your part, however it is a bit like finding out for the first time Santa isn't real. Kinda sucks, sorry brother.

[FELINEGUITARS]

Hi Steve - it sure is a tough realisation and can feel disappointing at the time.
But stick with your love of guitar as the other chaps have said and allow yourself to feel just as precious about your playing time and love of the subject.

In some ways not having to make a living from it means you can enjoy it more as a pure art-form rather than having "commercial pressures" always  forcing you to compromise  on how you'd really want to enjoy your instrument.

Now an interesting point I see from within the walls of my business.
I deal every day with players who love guitar.
The saddest thing is the guys who can afford to have me do set-ups and re-frets or even build them a kick ass guitar over a period of time are not often the working musicians (usually they seem not even able to afford new strings), it's the guys who have regular jobs - whether they are self employed or work for someone else who often have enough money to indulge their passions.

It seems ironic at times but reflects that there really isn't much money  for the majority of musicians to be able to do it full time.

[Telerocker]

Now that you let go the idea of being a moneymaking pro musician, it might just happen in the future. Somethings they do if you don't chase it, but go with the flow. For now, a good decision to build up your business. Wish you all the luck!

[Philly Q]

That wasn't whiney at all!  Very interesting to read, and in some ways I can relate to it, but probably less than the other guys.... I've always known I was too talentless and/or lazy to make a living out of music, so I never attempted to (I still kind of wish I'd got into guitar building as a career, although I'm well aware that's also a tough way to earn a reasonable living).

I think you're making the right decision.  I don't see anything wrong or contradictory about having some kind of career whilst also pursuing an interest in music (or writing, painting, filmmaking, whatever...).  To me it demonstrates a work ethic, a sense of realism and responsibility which I think is admirable.  And it doesn't mean giving up on your dreams.

[Kiichi]

The best of luck in your buisness and keep on rocking!

I am very interrested to see how your playing develops without that weight, I actually believe when you look back at this in one or two years you will think it was the best decision you purely as a player ever made.

And generally +1 to what Feline said.
I am still very young, not even having gone to college yet and I know about not having money or a set future (if I had at least the later I would have that strat in my home by now). Thing is I really appreciate not having a lot of money for guitar things. I actually have struck a pretty good balance between I  can afford some things (like BKPs from time to time or my HW Tiny Terror and my HW marshall cab after saving a couple of months), but I really have to put though into things I get.
But most importantly I also have to make things I have acess to work, which is the greatest thing anyone doing anything with sound can learn imho.
This lead me to great sounds, DIY pedals and so many great things. If you can make a good sound on a budget, you can make it on anything.
One day I will treat myself to a custom Feline too (I already got a second hand one though through great luck) and I am confident, nearly know that I can get a better sound out of a given equipment than most people can, cause I have learned to work the highs and lows. Now if my playing would keep up...

[MrBump]

A wise decision, Sir.  Have guitar playing as your hobby - never lose that - and enjoy every moment of it when you get the chance to  :)

Absolutely.  Think how your life would suck if that thing that you love became mundane and the thing you had to do to pay the mortgage.

Juggling the needs of a family with a 100 watt Marshall is always difficult.  Like you, I've been playing since my teens, and I'm now 41 - I joined my first "decent" band at 40!

Mistresses are always more fun than wives...

;)

[juansolo]

I have a friend who is one of the best and most naturally talented drivers I've ever had the pleasure of being driven around a racetrack by (and I've been in with some very talented people). Certainly when he was younger he'd could have had a very successful career as a racing driver. Were it not for the main thing that stops drivers with talent getting noticed. Money. The sad reality in his case was that he could not afford to race and without that you're going nowhere. He ended up in IT and plays with race cars with me these days (we split the costs in two).

In some respects this isn't a bad thing. You get to still enjoy doing what you love and it not being your career means you don't ruin it. Of course you don't get to do it as much. But sadly that's life.

[dave_mc]

Absolutely.  Think how your life would suck if that thing that you love became mundane and the thing you had to do to pay the mortgage.

that's what i always wonder. While it'd be awesome for your job to be something you love doing, on the other hand merely by dint of it being a job it can suck a fair bit of the fun out of it. you could probably make a decent argument for doing a job which you don't loathe (i.e. you can do it without wanting to top yourself at the end of every day and quite enjoy it) but which isn't one of your main hobbies either. And obviously which is pretty secure and reasonably well-paid too. and which lets you still do your hobbies in your spare time.

Which sounds like what you're doing.

that's not to say that's the only way to do it, it's one of those things that there's more than one right answer, and the right answer will be different for every individual.

good luck :)