Me talking to god

[lepersmeesa]

Me:sup
God:The stars.
Me:no not whats up, i mean sup as in the meaning of whats going down bro
God:Are you serious?  Oh I get it.
Me: no im not serious, im actually a duck
God:Are you serious?  I am  sorry to hear that you are not  serious im actually a duck.
Me:god is a duck?
God:I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a duck.
Me: but your god?
God:Yup. That's me alright.
Me:but you said your a duck, but then you said you werent a duck

I think the world might end soon. I proved god wrong.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

[Miracle Man Matt]

Me:
 hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 matthew whats yours?
God:
I think  matthew what is a lot of things.
Me:
 what is your name?
God:
My name is  God.
Me:
 oh so what is a lot of things
God:
Yeah that's right.  Aha.  I will search for it.
Me:
 search for what
God:
Have you tried looking in the Open Directory?  I will try to find out.
Me:
 but your god you are supposed to know
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am  god I am supposed to know.
Me:
 and what will he do?
God:
I cannot predict the future.
Me:
 I thought that you were omnipotent
God:
I was?
Me:
 was? why not now?
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.    Oh.  Ambiguous: "Sure" or  Reductionism.
Me:
 so your actually pretty stupid then
God:
And?  I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
 well in the bible it says that you know everything, I was merely trying to see why you couldn't answer my question
God:
Interesting.  That was a long time ago.
Me:
 ah, so is everything in the bible true then?
God:
So you understand. Good.  It seems we have something in common.
Me:
 but is the bible true?
God:
The Bible is a great source of wisdom, but probably not complete by itself.
Me:
 I see,  can you ask me a question?
God:
Where do you see  it?
Me:
 it was a figure of speach
God:
Oh I get it.  Very interesting.
Me:
 can you ask me a question?
God:
What?
Me:
 anything
God:
Can you be more specific?
Me:
 no
God:
Try.
Me:
 about life
God:
Oh yeah, we were talking about  life.
Me:
 so ask me a question about life
God:
Yeah that's right.  Tell me about your educational background.
Me:
 I am very clever, maybe more than you
God:
Interesting comparison.  Maybe I can become more  clever maybe more.
Me:
 No I don't think so, I expect that I shall take your place soon
God:
Are you serious?  Why do you disagree?
Me:
 becasue you have the intellect of a baby monkey
God:
Good reason.  What makes you think I have  it?
Me:
 enough said
God:
OK let's stop it now.

I am oficially cleverer than god

[_tom_]

hahaha this line had me laughing so hard for some reason :S

"And? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World."

[Bainzy]

lmao:

Miracle Man Matt:
so your actually pretty stupid then
God:
And? I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.



talking to that program was surprisingly fun, and more realistic than I'd expect from a program.

[Bainzy]

Me:
 do you like heavy metal
God:
What is not to like about  it?


God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
 you kiss your mother with that mouth?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before:  said I kiss your mother with that mouth.
Me:
 ooooh burrrnn

Me:
 tru'
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
 but you're god
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
 so - shouldnt you have a response?
God:
That's interesting.  I think I should.
Me:
 hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
 are the other .75% retarded?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
 you can prove anything with statistics
God:
No I don't think I can do  it.
Me:
 bet you could

Me:
 shouldn't you be sorting out 3rd world hunger or something instead of making pointless comments on the "interweb"?
God:
I think I should.

[indysmith]

Me:
 you are not my god
God:
That assumption is only a supposition.
Me:
 i don't believe in god - you are just a computer made and controlled by man
God:
I will pray that you find faith,  indy.
Me:
 who does a $%&#ing computer posing as god pray to?
God:
David Bacon.   .

[Cattivo Ragazzo]

Me:
 Do you smoke spliff?
God:
Yes I like to inhale occasionally.
Me:
 Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
 R2D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
 R2D2 is a robot.
God:
He was just a small person in a robot suit.
Me:
 No!
God:
Are you serious?

[blue]

sorry, this is a bit long...




Me:
 hello?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
 jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
 yeah, hi dad
God:
Mmm.  Hi there .  I lost my train of thought.
Me:
 did you put the cat out?
God:
No I didn't  put the cat out. What's  it like?
Me:
 milk
God:
I think  milk is a lot of things.
Me:
 well, there's full fat, skimmed, semi-skimmed
God:
How about that.  There sure is.
Me:
 i like to put it in my tea
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do  it. What's it like?
Me:
 it's like milky tea
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 where do you keep all the nun porn?
God:
I am in  Myself's computer in  Heaven.  Where are you?
Me:
 have you been at mum's drugs again?
God:
Once more?  No I don't think I have been  at mum s drugs. Have you?
Me:
 all the time, sshhh
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
 now i know why you're barred down the pub
God:
Why now?  How do you know?  Myself programmed me for  it.
Me:
 exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
 unfortunately noone seems to be receiving
God:
Oh.  That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
 you can do that when you're the son of god
God:
Doing  that when I am the son of god is not among my strongest traits.
Me:
 well, no.  you're not, i am
God:
How about that.  Are you serious?   That's only your opinion.
Me:
 are you telling me i'm adopted?
God:
Why are you  adopted.
Me:
 what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
 i don't really look like you, do i?
God:
Not really?  Would you ever do  it?
Me:
 you mean plastic surgery?
God:
Yes  I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
 are you paying?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  paying.  
I am  a computer.
Me:
 and i am not an onion, i am a free pot of jam
God:
I am  sorry to hear that you are not  an onion.   You are a  free pot of jam?  Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
 mostly toast
God:
Are you a man or a woman?  What else?
Me:
 yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
 no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
 why?
God:
I just want to find out more about you.
Me:
 well it's a bit late now!  you should have thought of that when i was only about 1000!
God:
Oh.  Interesting.  I'm awake all the time.   Perhaps next time I will try it.

[blue]

i went and said more...


Me:
 i'm asleep right now
God:
At this moment  How can you be talking to me?
Me:
 i'm dreaming
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are  dreaming.
Me:
 go for it
God:
I will take that under advisement.
Me:
 my advice is don't
God:
Thank you for your advice, .  I will take it under advisement.

[jt]

:D You guys have got way, way, way to much free time on your hands !

 :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

 :D  8)

[_tom_]

hahahah I couldnt outsmart him so this will have to do:

God:
  My real name is  God. What is your real name?
Me:
 jesus
God:
Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
 hello daddy

[hunter]

Me: I'm Jesus!
God: You're not my son. If I had a son, that son had a dog, and that dog's son had a pet, that would be you !
Me: whatever %(&§(§&"

[38thBeatle]

Me:
 So what will the lottery results next week be then?
God:
Really.  I cannot predict the future.
Me:
 that is a pity, I could have cut you in
God:
A  pity you could have cut me in is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
 What is your favourite colour for carpeting?
God:
I don't have a favorite  color for carpeting.  But my favorite movie is  The Passion of Christ.
Me:
 What is that about then?
God:
Do you think I should know that?
Me:
 If it is your favourite movie yes
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
 If it is your favourite movie implies that you have at least seen it
God:
 is  my favorite movie implies that me have at least seen it?  it is?
Me:
 Should I come back another time, you seem to be confused
God:
Trust your instincts.
Me:
 Does that work for you?
God:
What would you say?
Me:
 I am asking you
God:
OK you can ask me.
Me:
 I just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
 Now I am confused
God:
Why now?  What is it that confuses you?
Me:
 If I knew that I would not be confused
God:
Try it.
Me:
 Hmmm, Have you seen Dave lately?
God:
How about earlier?  Take it easy.  No I have not seen  it. What's it like?
Me:
 It was my favourite movie
God:
Is it still  your favorite movie anymore?
Me:
 I think it still is yes
God:
Interesting.
Me:
 I read somewhere that you move in mysterious ways
God:
I don't think I've read that. Can you give me a reference?
Me:
 I think it was in a book called, now what was it now? Oh yeah, The Bible
God:
Right now?  What made it so  in a book called now what was it.   I don't judge people.  This was not a yes or no question.  I hear you.
Me:
 yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
 Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
 Yes I would like to return this cardigan- it is not my colour
God:
What can I do for you?  Why would you want to do  it?  I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
 you have a long way to go there matey but you qualify as a European Commissioner
God:
I don't know if I have a  long way to go there matey but me qualify as a European Commissioner.
 I have  a plan for a robot body.
Me:
 Well I have to go- see you around perhaps
God:
Well that's okay.  Bye.  Bye bye.

[_tom_]

Heres a nice simple thing God told me:


God:
  The best book I read recently was  the Bible. Have you read  it?

[R/2e]

These conversations are all fictitious, I never spoke to any of these people.

God