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Author Topic: Cow Economics  (Read 12395 times)

Muso

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Cow Economics
« on: August 30, 2006, 12:56:22 PM »
COW ECONOMICS

SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows
and you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM:
You have 2 cows.
The Government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM:
You have 2 cows
the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later,
you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: (i love this one)
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows
But you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows
None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRISH FARMER:
You have two cows.

CaffeineJunkie

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Cow Economics
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2006, 05:11:50 PM »
LOL, kool
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sambo

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« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2006, 07:37:51 PM »
irish one has to be the best  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:


classic stuff, where did you find it?

dave_mc

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« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2006, 10:41:39 PM »
^ gah, making fun of irish people again, eh?

:lol:

deg0ey

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« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2006, 09:05:22 AM »
Quote from: dave_mc
^ gah, making fun of irish people again, eh?


Wow, an Irish person that actually noticed we were making fun of them!! That's a first :drink:

To be fair though, it's not all Irish people - just a few that give you all a bad name (my grandmother for example, she still tells jokes about Irish people :lol:)
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38thBeatle

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« Reply #5 on: September 01, 2006, 06:09:45 PM »
So does my Irish Aunt. Whenever I have been in Ireland, they told me jokes about people from Kerry.
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LiamH

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« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2006, 06:16:31 PM »
he he, I loved that. I like Irish jokes and I am second gen Irish. Who cares.
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JamesHealey

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« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2006, 09:23:18 AM »
i was born in thurles, eire and yeah they make jokes about people from kerry there too... Its people from kerry that give us irish a bad name.. I liked the japanese and english ones

dave_mc

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« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2006, 03:23:47 PM »
I know, I tell jokes about irish people too...

but it's very easy to say who cares if the jokes aren't about you, specifically.

I doubt the english would be saying "who cares" if the jokes were about them...
















and after all, the northern irish exams are harder than the english ones... the the republic of ireland exams are harder again...

:D

blue

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« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2006, 04:11:58 PM »
too true!  your average irish drunk is still smarter than anyone else.  i mean, look at the state we get in and still find our way home at night!
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daveirl1

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« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2006, 05:11:30 PM »
Quote from: dave_mc



and after all, the northern irish exams are harder than the english ones... the the republic of ireland exams are harder again...

:D


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Quote from: blue
too true!  your average irish drunk is still smarter than anyone else.  i mean, look at the state we get in and still find our way home at night!


ahh ,but we're only smart when we're drunk.

38thBeatle

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« Reply #11 on: September 02, 2006, 05:59:23 PM »
I never mind English jokes- I am from Essex originally and have endured Essex jokes for years.Usually jokes are re hashed to suit whoever is the flavour of the month to have a go out- as long as it is meant in jest, no harm done.
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hunter

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« Reply #12 on: September 02, 2006, 06:11:13 PM »
British always think they're the best ... just because they had Blackmore, Page, Gilmour, Marshall .... ehh ...

Hmmm, maybe they aren't so bad in the end  :oops:
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hunter

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« Reply #13 on: September 02, 2006, 06:12:20 PM »
... but Reinhold Bogner is from Germany (took me a while to find one) :)
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LiamH

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« Reply #14 on: September 02, 2006, 07:09:44 PM »
Quote from: dave_mc
I know, I tell jokes about irish people too...

but it's very easy to say who cares if the jokes aren't about you, specifically.


well they are about my family....
















and after all, the northern irish exams are harder than the english ones... the the republic of ireland exams are harder again...

:D
Taking responsibility takes all the joy out of life, and drains a man to dust