My advice, tom, is to stop and either go back to it when you've calmed down a bit, or take it to someone that can do it for you.
The technology is 60+ years old, so it's not rocket science. It's not even as hard as getting a virus off your computer; but it does require a bit of manual dexterity and soldering experience. The vintae style wire that Tim uses is a bit different from your more commen Seymour Duncan and DiMarzio wires, too.
Are you sure you're heating the area you need to solder enough for the wire to attach properly? Have you tinned the ends of your wires with solder?
Just check out my earliest threads about the hum problems I was having with my Miracle Man ... I'm happy to tell you that it was all stupidity on my part, not any kind of defect with the pickup. So, don't feel so bad. :)