How BKP's are made (only for UK natives)

[Ratrod]

Makin' the bloomin' ultimate soundin' pickups is us goal at Bare Knuckle and we don't do that by cuttin' corners. Right. All of us pickups are completely 'and-made, one at a time, right, and nuffink but the bloody highest quality is acceptable. We make each pickup ter wivstand a lifetime of messing and that life starts out wiv 'andwindin'. Windin' We scatterwind the coils of each pickup individually wiv varyin' gauges of enamelled copper wire, right, the ffickness of the wire and type of wire insulation we use are dependant upon the bleedin' sound we're after. We wind the chuffin' majority of us pickups wiv the bloomin' traditional plain enamel wire used originally in the early days of pickup windin'. Scatterwindin' by 'and can be time consumin' but it 'as many advantages over conventional machine windin', right, not least a far superior sound. Wen a coil is scatterwound, right, the bleedin' wire ain't as close or even, right, layer on layer, right, as wiv a machine and this lowers the bloody distributed capacitance that exists between the turns of the wire. Yer can't 'ave a knees-up wivout a joanna. Lower capacitance allows more top end frough, right, the bloody resonant peak increases slightly and the bleedin' pickup 'as a flatter frequency response across its range. The result is a clearer, more open sound that 'as the impression of bein' louder purely by the amount of extra detail and dynamics present. Pottin' The bloody finished coil is potted in a mixture of paraffin wax and bees wax ter solidify the windings and prevent microphonic feedback. We wax pot all of us pickups and any that require a metal cover are wax potted a second time ter eliminate microphony. Components The types of materials vary dependant upon the style of pickup but we always use the highest quality components froughout, even manufacturin' a bit of parts ourselves ter guarantee consistency and reliability. Right. For example we 'and machine us humbucker pole shoes, right, cut maple spacers by 'and and even make various types of pickup baseplate too. All of us Alnico II, III, IV and V magnets are individually sand cast, right, unpolished like the originals and along wiv us Ceramic magnets are all the correct longer vintage size. This ensures a better balance of power and tonal character. For 'ook up cable we offer a choice of shielded 4 conductor, original vintage correct braided 7/30 cloff 2 conductor or original 7/30 cloff 'push back' cable ter provide maximum sonic flexibilty and integrity. Humbuckers all feature solid 21 gauge nickel silver baseplates, soft iron pole screws and slugs along wiv machined pole shoes and maple spacers for a sturdy, right, reliable construction wiv the bleedin' minimum of treble loss and unwanted microphony. Strat and Tele singgle coils are 'and made usin' classic Forbon flat sets and sand cast magnets. Tele bridge pickups feature copper plated brass or solid nickel silver groundin' plates and original cord wrap, init?Bare Knuckle soapbars and dogears all use nickel silver or brass baseplates and soft iron pole screws. Testin' We take continual DC readings froughout manufacture ter guard against a possible short or break in any of the chuffin' coil windings and ensure consistency in performance from one pickup ter anuvver, init?Windin' and constructin' us pickups by 'and allows us ter be extremely meticulous in us quality control, do wot guvnor! All of us pickups are finally checked against michrophony in a special test spoons and ter make sure they attain the unrivalled sound we demand. Ultimately this means we can confidently guarantee us pickups for life because that's 'ow long we make them ter last.
   
http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

[deg0ey]

About Bawe Knuckwe Pickups

We awe a smaww, pwivatewy owned business based in the Souf West of Engwand, UK, speciawising in handwound guitaw pickups. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Twaditionaw skiwws and uncompwomising vawues set the foundation fow a hawd wowking yet fowwawd thinking company awways weady to come out fighting and stand up fow what it bewieves. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

Evewyone at Bawe Knuckwe pways the guitaw bof wive and in the studio, on amateuw and pwofessionaw wevews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Evewything we make at Bawe Knuckwe is made by hand, in house, wif the cwitewia being to cweate the best sounding pickups possibwe fwom the finest matewiaws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!
We don't fowwow sets of hypotheticaw wuwes to detewmine how ouw pickups sound, we use ouw hands and ouw eaws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Aww of ouw pickups awe pwototyped and tested in weheawsaw, in the studio, on stage, anywhewe but on papew and awways in the hands of a guitaw pwayew.

Bawe Knuckwe stands fow a no nonsense, honest appwoach to genuine hand-cwafted guitaw pickups and we don't make pickups fow anyone ewse othew than you, the guitaw pwayew. Fow us time and pwice awen't the deciding factows in pickup constwuction - sound qwawity and wewiabiwity is!

 
Ouw commitment to pwoducing the best sounding pickups possibwe means that we don't cut cownews on anything whiwst keeping the pwice to the end usew as faiw as possibwe.

We want you to have the same confidence in ouw pickups as we do so you can get on wif pwaying the guitaw knowing you've got the uwtimate pickup fow the job. Aftew aww, that's why we'we hewe in the fiwst pwace and why we wawwanty ouw pickups not just fow a few yeaws but fow wife!.

 
  Ouw commitment:

1. Awways buiwd the best sounding pickups possibwe.
2. Onwy use the finest and most twaditionawwy authentic matewiaws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!
3. Wind aww ouw pickups by hand, one at a time hewe in the UK.
4. Manufactuwe ow souwce aww ouw components in the UK.
5. Wawwanty aww ouw pickups fow wife to the owiginaw puwchasew.
6. Suppwy the best customew sewvice and backup avaiwabwe.
7. Aww pickups made speciawwy to owdew wif a fast tuwnawound time.
8. Wisten to you the guitaw pwayew and what you want.
9. Nevew compwomise on cweating the best so we can aww have
    mowe time pwaying theguitaw. Amen, uh-hah-hah-hah.

Elmer Fudd's a classic :lol:

[blue]

take out the scwewy wabbit bits and that could've been johnathon woss!

( Johnathon Ross: "so what team do you drive for Eddie?"

Eddie Ervine:  "Fewwawi "

hahahahah)

[Twinfan]

You've just reminded me of this!  :lol:

*MICROSOFT ANNOUNCEMENT*

 

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie version of

Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle. If you

have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the

commands. The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading

screen. It reads "Windaz 98" with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle

superimposed on a photograph of the Tyne Bridge. It is shipped with the

Brown Ale screen saver as default.

 

Also note:

==========

The Recycle Bin is labelled 'sh-te'

Dialup Networking is called 'me mates'

Control Panel is known as 'how te f--k aboot wi the settins'

The Hard Drive is referred to as 'big disk'

 

Other Distinct Features:

========================

OK = alreet

cancel = f--k that

yes = aye

no = nee f--kin' chance

find = gan gerit ya f--king sel'

goto = owa there

help = ah cannit dee it

stop = divvent move

start = hadaway and sh-te

settings = settins

programs = stuff that daes stuff

personal folder = me sh-te

 

Also note that Windaz 98 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.

 

Some programs that are exclusive to Windaz 98:

==============================================

tiperita = a word processor

cullarin book = a graphics package

addin masheen = calculator

tunes = CD player

dole = accounting software

toon = a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores

bevvy = local off-licences by postcode and price of Brown Ale

porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer

 

We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the

Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for an immediate

replacement.

 

The Microsoft Team

[Philly Q]

Their c--kney dialect advisor seems to have been Dick Van Dyke, unfortunately.

:violin2:  Chim Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Chiminy, Chim Chim Chiree....  :violin1:

[Muttley]

The Ali G version:
about bare knuckle pickups we is a small, privately owned business based in da souf west of england, uk, speciasilin in andwound guitar pickups. traditional skills and uncomprosimin values set da foundation fa a ard angin yet forward thinkin crew always ready to come out rukin and stand up fa wot it believes. everyone at bare knuckle plays da guitar bof live and in da studio, on amateur and professional levels. everythin we make at bare knuckle is made by and, in ouse, wiv da criteria bein to create da wickedest soundin pickups possible from da fittest materials. we don't follow sets of ypothecital rules to determine ow our pickups sound, we use our ands and our ears. all of our pickups is prototyped and tested in rehearsal, in da studio, on stage, anywhere but on papa and always in da ands of a guitar playa. bare knuckle stands fa a no nonsense, onest approach to genuine and-crafted guitar pickups and we don't make pickups fa anyone else udda than yous, da guitar playa. fa us time and price aren't da decidin factors in pickup construction - sound quality and reliability is! bare knuckle pickups - andwound in da uk our commitment to producin da wickedest soundin pickups possible means dat we don't cut corners on anythin whilst keepin da price to da end usa as fair as possible. we dig yous to ave da same confidence in our pickups as we do so yous can get on wiv playin da guitar knowin you've got da ultimate pickup fa da job. afta all, innit why we're in da house in da first place and why we warranty our pickups not just fa a few years but fa life!. our commitment: 1. always build da wickedest soundin pickups possible. 2. only use da fittest and mostest traditionally authentic materials. 3. wind all our pickups by and, one at a time in da house in da uk. 4. manufacture or source all our components in da uk. 5. warranty all our pickups fa life to da original purchasa. 6. supply da wickedest customa mend and backup available. 7. all pickups made specially to orda wiv a fast turnaround time. 8. listun to yous da guitar playa and wot yous dig. 9. neva compromise on creatin da wickedest so we can all ave more time playin da guitar. isun.

[Davey]

man, that's awesome!

but PARAGRAPHS damnit!! i got dizzy readin all of dat

[Jp.]

man, that's awesome!

but PARAGRAPHS damnit!! i got dizzy readin all of dat

hahahahaha I'm with Davey.

My attention span is way too short for that much reading :o  :lol:

[gingataff]

back in the good old days (early 90s) I remember using Unix workstations and there were some programmes that you could run with a text file using a | (pipe?) and it would 'translate' them, geordie was a favourite back then :D  :D

[HTH AMPS]

Windaz 2000 is excellent, I wish they'd release a service pack with that as an option  :lol:

 :twisted: