latest attempt at songwriting-tapped neck mississippi queen

[CaffeineJunkie]

went fairly terribly to be honest

i've thought up a bunch of different riffs and licks etc. but none of them seem to go together

this is my favourite so far, but i'm still not completely sure of it, it's going to be in the verses of the song, but i'm looking at having an odd structure to the song, something like this...

Intro

4 Verses

Different, faster riff leading into small solo

Chorus x3

Outro

but after talking to some people over MSN, i had a couple of people say that there is too much in this clip to be played over 4 verses (would be played twice per verse) and i'm just wondering what people thought of it, and how they would change it if it were their song.... please note that anybody who says "it should be played in a death metal style" WILL receive a very sarcastic response :D :D :p

EDIT: new clip further down :D

[RorySRV]

From what I could hear of it (I am on a laptop, which has a volume restriction which doesnt help when listening to your song because it was quite quiet) it sounded good.

And I think others will, or should see it the same way...

Then again you have got the metal fans too come  :P

Anyway it was good.

Keep it up and I look forward to the rest of the song.

RorySRV,

[sgmypod]

Damn death metal players.....nah was good, looking foward to end....didn't sound too quiet on mine..levels where fine

What guitar U playing there and what pickup?

[jt]

:D Sounded OK to me.

Nice little riffy part the chords sound like they should be together, & the Tempo seemed right for the type of feel you were going for.  :D

Try writing with a drum box or loops of some kind see if that helps get your creative juices going. By the way loved the clean sound what was it P/U wise i`m asuming the MQ ?

 :D  8)

[CaffeineJunkie]

cheers guys, had a bit of a long day and that kinda made it all a bit better :D

and yeh it's a tapped mississippi queen in the neck of my Epi Les Paul, running through my soon-to-be-replaced-with-a-plexi marshall AVT150X

and just as a quick preview of the chorus, i'm going for a 50s rock n roll kind of style, but with some definite led zep influences as well, just whatever sounds good at the time :D


cheers again

James

[sambo]

yer thats pretty cool, i like it.

but as constructive criticism, playing wise, i would say work on your rhythm a little bit. it seems a bit stuttered if you see what i mean?

perfect that and it'll be great i think.

[CaffeineJunkie]

yer thats pretty cool, i like it.

but as constructive criticism, playing wise, i would say work on your rhythm a little bit. it seems a bit stuttered if you see what i mean?

perfect that and it'll be great i think.

yeh kool, cheers, i think thas mainly because i'm playing with my fingers, and i have a tendency to mute the strings as i play them, which makes it a bit 'choppy' so to speak, but thanks :D

[CaffeineJunkie]

ok, just recorded another version, with tweaked EQ (more bass, less mids, less treble) and run through the amps acoustic simulator. also the coil tap is now turned off, the volume and tone are both turned all the way up, and i'm using a pick, not my fingers .... but unfortunately it's still a fairly quiet clip (sorry)

it's a much longer clip than before however, as it has a couple of verses and what i might decide to be the chorus in the middle of it

my timing's a bit off i know, but any (constructive) criticism would be very, very helpful


Cheers

James

[RorySRV]

Sounds good again caffine.

All I would say is try adding a chorus, or if there was one a more distinct chorus  :P

And maybe dub an kickass, thick and creamy electric solo over the top of the second verse  

That would be good  :)

RorySRV,

[CaffeineJunkie]

yeh there was a chorus in the middle, but because of the structure, which in this clip is 2 verses, then 'quiet' chorus, then continues with the verses

the chorus was just when i changed the chords in the middle, it's not meant to show up much, but it will when i've written the final riff, as it's going to have the lyrics for the chorus repeated over it til the end

[38thBeatle]

I have just got to this after having been off for a while. A nice chord sequence there CJ-it is easy to hear how a vocal would go over that and it could, as you say, make a foundation for a verse.You do need to work on your strumming though-it is a bit ragged but you seem to be aware of that so I will shut up. All you gotta do now is write a nice big chorus.

[CaffeineJunkie]

I have just got to this after having been off for a while. A nice chord sequence there CJ-it is easy to hear how a vocal would go over that and it could, as you say, make a foundation for a verse.You do need to work on your strumming though-it is a bit ragged but you seem to be aware of that so I will shut up. All you gotta do now is write a nice big chorus.

cheers man, yeah i know my strumming off, doesn't help that i'm a bit ill atm and my arms don't want to go in time with each other, let alone anybody else :lol:

as for the chorus, i'm waiting for my wages to come through before i can buy myself a new bridge, and then i can write one, as i don't have a top string atm.

chorus lyrics, however, will be put over the section of different chords in this last clip :D

[Ol]

I want a BKP in the title of this post or it will be nuked in 24 hours.
Ol.

[CaffeineJunkie]

I want a BKP in the title of this post or it will be nuked in 24 hours.
Ol.

:D

[Ol]

thanks. :)