Very well written, very interesting (although my eyes are smarting now after reading all that). The first couple of pages brought back some good memories.
But Jesus, the man is so utterly humourless. And so obsessed with labels. Why does everything have to have its own little box? Who decides what's "real" metal, what's "false", "true", "retro", "hipster"? I get the feeling that any band that writes an ironic lyric or displays a couple of seconds of non-metal influence immediately gets added to Dave Burns' sh!tlist. And if a band like, say, Mastodon gets accepted as "metal", Mr Burns' tone suggests that they can't possibly be genuine, instead they're somehow sneaky conniving indie bar-stewards trying to undermine or cash in on "true" metal (must admit there is something bogus about The Sword, though).
I love the way he uses innocuous words like "hipster" and indie" in such a venomous way - it seems you can't be "indie" without being "smug" or "opportunistic". :roll:
Oh well, I'm sure I have more than enough "false metal" in my record collection for Dave Burns to condemn me to hell. And there I was thinking I'd been a metal fan for the last 27 years. I should be hanging my head in shame. :oops:
