Sad job with guitars

[PhilKing]

Today I have to go to my friend Tom's house and help his cousin sort through his collection of about 80 guitars.  All of them are really nice and there are many classics, including 54, 55 & 56 Les Pauls, 60 & 61 SG's, 53 Esquire, 57, 60 & 63 Strats, many classic Gretsch's, lots of Airline, Harmony and Silvertone's (enough to keep Jack White happy!), and many others that I have played over the years.

The reason that this is such a sad task today is that Tom died on Friday night after fighting cancer for the last year.  He was a great guitarist and could play most tunes by ear, even though he did lessons and could read music.  I have been in a couple of bands with him, and I was probably responsible for him starting to collect guitars, when I let him have my 63 Strat after another tragedy in his life.

He would regularly send ebay items to me that he thought were interesting or that he was going to bid on, or he thought I should buy!  He was still a collector to the end, in fact a Wah that he had ordered online just arrived at his house yesterday.

He was playing up until 3 weeks ago, but he deterioated fast at the end, and when I was there last week he wasn't strong enough to hold a guitar anymore.  He was admitted to hospital last Monday, and I saw him Thursday night when he was already fading.

My sad task now is to sell his collection for his estate.  Today I will be going through all the guitars, something we used to do regualrly anyway, but this time each one will bring back a good memory.  I think that I just have to concentrate on the fun he used to have with the guitars and see that I can help his family with the things they need now.

[Twinfan]

A gutting story Phil.  It's something I'd find really hard to do without breaking down.

Strangely enough, the subject of what to do with my 20 or so guitars if I died was asked by my wife this week.  Maybe she's got something planned......???

Seriously though, we decided:

1)  My Mum would have my first electric - a JV series Squier Strat
2)  My wife would have "first dibs" on anything she wanted
3)  The rest of my family would have anything they wanted
4)  Any needy person, or charity, could have the rest

I guess the difference with my guitars is that they're not vintage collectibles worth thousands of pounds.  Makes giving them away not an option doesn't it?

I hope his family would allow you to buy, or have, something to remember your friend by?  Maybe your '63 Strat back?

[Dakine]

I feel for you Phil.
Basically same thing happened with my Dad earlier this year.
Admitted with cancer last year (first I knew was when I flew over cause he was in intensive care). Then he seemed to be getting alot better. He made mum and others swear not to tell me anything, so when I came back over earlier this year he was slipping FAST. In fact he was like a concentration camp victim and passed so quickly. Worst (well worst and best I s'pose) was he refused hospitalization (not that it would have helped) so was nursed and seen 24/7 at home.
He was a horder/collector and an engineer and cars were his life. He has a garage big enough for 5 cars here, FULL of stuff. So many memories, I have not even started to go through this stuff yet.
Thoughts are with your friends family and you at this time.
Nick

[38thBeatle]

Hey Phil, I feel for you-I have had a similar experience, similar to Nick's as it happens only with a much loved tool collection.You are braver than me, I couldn't face it for a year or two and I would say that every item brought back a memory and  I shed more than a few tears-it wasn't so much the items it was the associated memory of them. For me it was a question of making sure the new owners treated them with suitable care. Your post brings back many bittersweet memories and my thoughts are with you.

[Ratrod]

Sorry to hear about your terrible loss. I hope you'll find a good home for those vintage guitars.

[Davey]

aw man, sorry to hear that.
it's never fun to go through any collection of a person you were connected with somehow.

[dave_mc]

I'm sorry to hear that, phil, that's terrible. My condolences.

[zigmund]

Heartfelt condolencies, truly.
I realise the process of sorting through the guitars will be immensely painful; they are after all not mere "objects" but expressions of a person's soul and identity. For that reason, maybe the time that you spend with his guitars, as well as being a painful time of mourning,  might also be one in which to affirm the creativity of his life...
 Every sympathy Phil.

[Crazy_Joe]

That must suck, going through someones collection must be a really hard thing to do, you probably have so many memories of him playing each guitar. Sorry to hear about it.

[TwilightOdyssey]

Having just lost a close friend to the Grim Reaper, although through different circumstances, I can empathise.

One thing that's helped me with dealing with his loss was realizing that it's okay to mourn the dead, and memorialize them. After that, however, we have to celebrate how they lived.

It's always a reality check when we lose someone close to us. Really makes you focus on what's most important, and appreciate the friends you have now.

[lulusg]

I feel for you Phil. My condolences to his family.

[Kilby]

Somewhat belated,

sorry to hear you lost a good friend, I lost mt dad to cancer almost 12 years ago and still am torn between being glad to have had time to say goodbye to him and wishing that he had no advance notice .

I hope his collection finds new that get true pleasure from them rather than investors who only appreciate their financial value.

Rob...

[PhilKing]

Thanks very much everyone.  All of you who have been through this, I now understand.  I never realised how fast people fade at the end.

Just to show you the sort of guy Tom was, he told his family that I should have his 1959 ES335, which is just about the most valuable guitar I ever played.  Since the money for the guitars will go to his daughter to let her finish college and get a good start in life, I told them that I couldn't take the most valuable.  The family were pushing me all day to take it, but I told them that I will get my old Strat back, since it is what started him collecting.  I am going to buy some of his guitars (I hope I can afford them the way the prices are going!).  

I have to help catalogue each guitar so they have an idea of the value, The family told me just to let them know which ones I want but each one brings back many memories.  I know which were his favourites, and I will try to make sure they go to good homes, but with some it is hard, because they will be so expensive.

We found a ton of spares - I have brought a lot of them home to start looking at them this week.  The family  had found some cassettes of him at the house (some with me too), and I will convert them to CD for the them (i have the original 8 track cassette too - so I will put those into Sonar later.

He also had a great repair shop, and he still has 4 guitars which he was working on.  I will use his tools and bench to finish those too.  Some of the tasks will be new to me (I have to make 3ply binding for his Roy Smeck neck), but just doing it with his tools will be good I think.  

Once again thanks for all your good wishes.  I hope that now he is having fun at that great gig in the sky.

[Twinfan]

Great post Phil, and I hope the day and those that follow bring some happy memories to you.  Finishing off the guitars in the workshop is a great gesture - I'm sure we'd all like to see pics of the process as it unfolds.

I know you're being humble, but if Tom (and also his family) want you to have the 335 maybe you should take it?  After all it was his wish and maybe you could honour it?  I think they'd rather see his most valuable guitar being played in the hands of one his friends than a total stranger.  That might mean a lot to them.

Please don't think I'm trying to tell you what to do, or that I think you should be benefitting in some way from your friends death.  I'm just pointing out how the other side might be seeing things.