I think you might be taking this whole thing a bit far.. A guitar is a guitar, I'm pretty sure it defines nothing about your sexual orientation.
Sadly, in the case of Telecasters, it really does :(
I with Oppo - that guitar that Philly showed above is totally hideous. Less hideous and less offensive than a Telecaster, but still totally hideous. Yes, that's possible.
As proven in the previous topic where people put up pictures of people playing telecasters, there is NO-ONE on this planet who can "de-gay" a telecaster. It's a real shame, but there it is.
By the way, this is nothing about the sound or music, this is purely aesthetics. Having said that, I've yet to hear
in person a telecaster either played well or sounding nice - but that's only my admittedly very limited experience.
Roo
PS 38th - LOL @ "manly" :)